tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7290045920695626762024-03-18T21:22:26.274-07:00Hoovering the HorizonCar & PlaceAlan Wellikoffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15013001805725976441noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-729004592069562676.post-40407577225623494952015-09-24T15:24:00.005-07:002020-05-11T08:59:54.656-07:00John Brown's Body-by-Fisher: Returning to Antietam in the 2015 Lincoln Navigator, Part I.<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="color: #e69138; font-size: large;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "palatino linotype"; font-size: 14.0pt;">They are misfit and strange in our new day,</span></i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "palatino linotype"; font-size: 14.0pt;"> </span></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #e69138; font-size: large;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "palatino linotype"; font-size: 14.0pt;">In Sixty-One they were not quite so strange,</span></i></span><br />
<span style="color: #e69138; font-size: large;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "palatino linotype"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Before the Fords, before the day of the Fords.</span></i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "palatino linotype"; font-size: 14.0pt;"> </span></i></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: small;">Stephen
Vincent Benėt, <i>John Brown’s Body, </i>1927<i><br /></i></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>A</b></span></span><span style="font-size: large; font-weight: bold;">braham Lincoln</span><span style="font-size: large;"> <b>said</b></span></span><span style="font-size: large;"> “the best thing about the future is that
it comes only one day at a time.” Of course, that's only until it stops coming at all. Then -- if you’re anything like Lincoln the Emancipator --
you belong to the ages.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">What then of Lincoln the Navigator – Ford
Motor’s Columbiad of an SUV? Reports are mixed. Some say that Ford
CEO Alan Mulally is intent on having the truck-based four-by join the Lincoln
Town Car in belonging to the ages; while others hold that it's only this <i>generation</i>
Navigator (around since 2007) that's about disappear into the annuls of automotive history.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Both reflect the trouble the
Navigator has had in</span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> drawing buyers away from Cadillac Escalades and Land
Rover Sports. Left to wallow in the back channels of uncool truckdom, the
Kentucky-built Lincoln must now chart a new course if it’s to sailor on.</span></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; font-size: large;"></span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b><span style="font-size: small;">Oh </span><span style="font-size: small;">capt</span></b></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>ain, my captain:</b> The 2015 Lincoln Navigator</span></span></span></td></tr>
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<a name='more'></a><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">While Lincoln <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">the Emanci<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">pator famously dreamed of his demise, <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Lincoln the Navigator doesn't seem to have a clue. With its turbocharged, direct<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">-injected, 3.5 liter V6 ticking <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">down the BTUs, the $73,000 SUV stands tall in the drive, its angular look redolent of a time when vinyl roofs enclosed opera windows and rear decks could serve as helipads. At its bow, the truck's split-wing grille stands out as a new signature feature, while aft, its taillights extend across the power liftgate's full width. Other than that, much of 2007 remains in the Lincoln's lines -- lines that reflect elements of Ford styling that go back to the post-war years.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiQsVsgAcKxyAPVISgTPYoAfJDGYTQLU95-Jdg2pFuUojXPkRgNecATxUh2s1i2jBF4WETleHo91GtASBeCUxRBsxhSVMJP9CUxArqXXsXS4_xnwYwAgR37G5hyphenhyphenlr3bMaqKsNq0UpYfPo/s1600/FD16.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="259" data-original-width="194" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiQsVsgAcKxyAPVISgTPYoAfJDGYTQLU95-Jdg2pFuUojXPkRgNecATxUh2s1i2jBF4WETleHo91GtASBeCUxRBsxhSVMJP9CUxArqXXsXS4_xnwYwAgR37G5hyphenhyphenlr3bMaqKsNq0UpYfPo/s400/FD16.jpeg" width="299" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I ought to know, for while my friend's fathers were driving their <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Mercury Montereys and Pontia<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">c Bonne<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">villes under Sputnik-swept skies, my dad was still negotiating<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> cloverleaves in hi<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">s 1951 Ford Custom Ford<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">or. A midnight-blue sedan powered by a flathead-eight producing 100 horsepower, the Ford seated six and featured power-equipped nothing. With its dual-bullet grille separated from winged chromium taillights by an 114-inch wheelbase, its styling followed that of its much heralded 1949 predecessor -- a car thought to have foretold an era of Populuxe modernity.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #e69138; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">By the early Sixties</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #bf9000; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">,</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> with populuxe modernity in full flower, dad had sufficiently fallen under its sway to add a late model Arctic-White over Apache-Red Ford Custom 300 to the family lineup, its three-digit suffix lending mute testimony to our arrival into polite society. In response to this glittering purchase, I began regarding the old Ford with a secret sense of proprietorship -- and it would be only weeks later when I, a high-school age Civil War fanatic armed with a learner's permit and a desire to see something of the Lincoln War firsthand, stole the keys to the old Custom and set out on a journey leading from the Bronx to the Battle of Antietam. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I can't say what I was thinking. I'd already been picked up once for car theft. Now while my parents thought <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">me a<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">sleep in a back bedroom, I was tearing down the <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Jersey Turn<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">pi<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">ke in the old sedan -- its humped profile back-lit by Rahway's cracking tower inf<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">erno</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-size: large;">.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Eventually highway yielded to byway, where the Fordor's instruments glowed amber as the risen moon as its radio</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkc5oIuvxViAsQ-_h94ZeEpZkL72qoh38eOjBAz6RayxyvkHtGO3_Tk0xsM7Efs5JPwPQg9QhDFihpwb7j8on5OWfck8uok-rj_VT0nmZXiNW0yH4GbJl2zAh71H1vab6I7yioXRX1c1k/s1600/moon-road.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1000" data-original-width="1600" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkc5oIuvxViAsQ-_h94ZeEpZkL72qoh38eOjBAz6RayxyvkHtGO3_Tk0xsM7Efs5JPwPQg9QhDFihpwb7j8on5OWfck8uok-rj_VT0nmZXiNW0yH4GbJl2zAh71H1vab6I7yioXRX1c1k/s320/moon-road.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">whistled and crashed in concert with some far-off storm.</span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">In the same car in which Mitchum outran the law in "Thunder Road," I was beginning to feel less like a duck-tailed outlaw than a seriously spooked kid. My hands tight on the wheel, I was stiff with fear that any one of these blackout curves might launch the car down a mountainside like a Marmon in an old gangster film. With the fear upon me, I sought what comfort I could from whatever noises emerging Custom's radio that didn't sound like banshee howls. It was then that something of a miracle happened: "This is Lee Moore, your Coffee-Drinking Nighthawk coming to you from WWVA, WHEELING, West Virginia," declared the suddenly becalmed Philco. It was a late-night announcement I'd heard countless times before while secreted under blankets back in the Bronx. Now, at last, I was in the magically remote realm from which Moore and his Jamboree originated. With my coffee-drinking nighthawk providing comfort from the dash, I drove along to the music of such Jamboree regulars as Flatt and Scruggs, Hylo Brown and Hardrock Gunter. Amid ads for prayer shawls, miracle waters, tent revivals and the honkey-tonks where bands like Power in the Blood would be playing come Saturday -- these artists would play their bluegrass and rockabilly standards.</span></span></span></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnnIRteuhO00gpquBS4MODvj4nwYiJ-SJrekm3mzvPBJ0AcDirK3YE2tra_GOf1umVl07DF75XN2IGN4Adl3NSwxX6H3FZOQtI22hmBTfff_gHPnR5TFjmAyWgB7mi8ZfGAiXN9AcHziQ/s1600/hill.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="444" data-original-width="602" height="236" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnnIRteuhO00gpquBS4MODvj4nwYiJ-SJrekm3mzvPBJ0AcDirK3YE2tra_GOf1umVl07DF75XN2IGN4Adl3NSwxX6H3FZOQtI22hmBTfff_gHPnR5TFjmAyWgB7mi8ZfGAiXN9AcHziQ/s320/hill.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I picked up speed, seeing all as guideposts on the road to Harpers Ferry, where the abolitionist John Brown tried to foment a slave revolt in 1859, and, three years on, A.P. Hill and his men rode at full gallop to save Lee's bacon at Antietam Creek. Nearly a century to the month</span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"> from this second event, I was at full gallop too, running the length of smokey hollers and moonlit hamlets, all darkened save for the juke joints still open on outskirts of towns. </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Drawn in by the strings of colored lights on its cornices and posts, I pulled into one of these. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">The shanty opened into a room that was bare other than for pool table and a juke box playing <i>The Man Who Shot Liberty Valence.</i> Gene Pitney's gunslinger lyrics couldn't help but add a note of drama to my silhouette's arrival in the doorway; and regardless of whether I looked like trouble or the tenderfoot I was to them -- the trio at</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"> the bar looked to me like the somehow-surviving veterans of Chickamauga.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">The old-timers regarded me suspiciously, but it wasn't long before narrow stares gave way to toothless smiles.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> Although a rank outsider, I was soon accepted as an admirably crazy kid by this small gathering of locals. Hollis, or Clem or Ephraim wanted to buy me a beer, but the others objected -- so I eagerly accepted their offer of a coke and ham sandwich. As I ate, we talked: cars, the Civil War, George Wallace, school. One fellow had met Eleanor Roosevelt, while another obligingly emptied the remaining slosh from his gas-can to the Custom's tank. When it came time to go, I was reluctant, but the place was closing anyway, and so with a wave to my grizzled friends and saviors, I fired up the Fordor's eight-banger and </span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">headed out for another league of cold foreboding and night. </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoOptv3dQ9RqFKQVED0GyWTlb6z5vrzSo1Ecrj9TiCEWoFnzJ5Fl_CFGuUG35ktgOrc2eqdZxp_sGGgcUAQWGgEelRcwhFmnP7x0zUqdy3GhOkTBwTwkkAtuII4xu0K_M-ObwdDCFyp1g/s1600/esso.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="310" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoOptv3dQ9RqFKQVED0GyWTlb6z5vrzSo1Ecrj9TiCEWoFnzJ5Fl_CFGuUG35ktgOrc2eqdZxp_sGGgcUAQWGgEelRcwhFmnP7x0zUqdy3GhOkTBwTwkkAtuII4xu0K_M-ObwdDCFyp1g/s400/esso.png" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">The ensuing route threaded its way through woodland hollers studded with sleeping cabins, clapboard houses and shuttered filling stations -- their darkened Esso and Kendall signs prompting me to sweat having enough gas with which to greet the dawn. In the dead of night I'd deliberately cast myself into this alien world; but with its galleon moon adrift among the cottonwoods, dead-of-night West Virginia was a place with the mountain wildness, raw character and sense of antiquity to which I'd long been drawn. In an odd way, I was coming home -- wild as John Brown and fueled by a wish to see something of the Civil War's ghost firsthand.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Now long past ado<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">lescence and fueled <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">by <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">a need to review the Lincoln Navigator<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">, I regard it critically<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">. <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">A luxu<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">rious seven-seater <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">that burns six gallons of gas per 100 miles of material world traveled, the SUV well reflects the age it inhabits. Other than for the name on its engine block, it's quite unlike the Ford I drove on that spectral night long ago. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">For one thing<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">, it's ill-equipped for piercing any mystic <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">veils of time<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Even so -- I took it to Antietam.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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</span></span>Alan Wellikoffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15013001805725976441noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-729004592069562676.post-76556868182477407172014-08-06T21:19:00.001-07:002021-06-13T12:28:46.454-07:00Beast of the Borealis: The 2014 Toyota Tundra LTD CrewMax 4X4 <h2>
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<span style="font-size: medium;"><b><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #e69138;"><i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">In frosted northern kingdoms, </span></i></span></span></b></span></h4>
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<span style="font-size: medium; font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i>Past </i></span></span><span style="color: #e69138;"><i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">the jackpines' ragged reign, </span></i></span></span></h4>
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<span style="font-size: medium; font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #e69138;"><i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">The tundra rolls 'neath blazing stars,</span></i></span></span></h4>
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<span style="font-size: medium; font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #e69138;"><i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Way up the line </span></i></span><span style="color: #e69138;"><i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">from Maine.</span></i></span></span></h4>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; font-size: x-large;"><b><span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">W<span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif">hile </span></span>here </span></b>in Maryland -- the Tundra rolls onto the drive. It gleams in the dew-laden</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"> air. Alerted by the gravel crunching under its 18-inch Michelins, squirrels </span></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";">dart from its path. </span></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";">Still the Toyota </span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";">rumbles onward. Its immense presence </span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; font-size: x-large;">draws near</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";">. </span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";">Electronically-controlled four-wheel discs bring it to a halt. Its </span></span>5.7-liter V8 idles.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; font-size: x-large;">From </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";">the safety of nearby trees, the squirrels watch as I circumnavigate the thing. They note its</span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"> </span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";">newly enlarged and integrated headlights, fashionably straight body
creases and 5.5-foot bed. </span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";">The critters return to their bullet-headed pursuits while I, bearer of the reviewer's burden, pause to blink at the Tundra's massive front end. The grille rises menacingly, its tiers of chrome </span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";">bars disappearing into the</span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"> m</span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";">aw of an integrated, yet hood-mounted, air-scoop.</span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"> </span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";">The effect is </span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";">ghastly -- yet I cannot turn away. </span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsb1tVYJQgzwiU4h5ZnccqjDIRGmSPotVTw8rjRBw2WbDjegQTCGRFZ6Gs0pyjLbYcJw5NP9yTGkd5BI0rQ_xp8y3noAoYwKAtOBv4g2ZJDK9EShBY23v53UkCxpjR-Q5Oux90Oa71po4/s1600/tundra.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="157" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsb1tVYJQgzwiU4h5ZnccqjDIRGmSPotVTw8rjRBw2WbDjegQTCGRFZ6Gs0pyjLbYcJw5NP9yTGkd5BI0rQ_xp8y3noAoYwKAtOBv4g2ZJDK9EShBY23v53UkCxpjR-Q5Oux90Oa71po4/s1600/tundra.jpg" width="400" /></a></span></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-small;"><b> MechaToyota:</b> The 2014 Tundra LTD CrewMax 4x4</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";">At once I'm reminded of </span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; font-size: x-large;">MechaGodzilla, deadliest foe of the One True Godzilla. It's as if the fiend has risen before me, rampant in its coat of C/TR-IG3
Magnetic Gray Metallic.</span><br />
<span style="color: #e69138; font-size: x-large;"> </span><br />
<span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif" style="font-size: x-large;">But maybe this monster comparison's a bit overdrawn. After all, unlike Japanese monsters, Texas-built Tundras don't emerge from the </span><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif" style="font-size: x-large;">irradiated depths of </span><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif" style="font-size: x-large;"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif">Pacific </span><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif">atolls</span>. </span><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif" style="font-size: x-large;">Nor do they wade through downtown Tokyo disgorging hellfire at </span><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif" style="font-size: x-large;">fleeing salary-men. Not that you could tell from the mileage they get<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";">. For whether it's wreaking municipal havoc or just coasting nicely downhill, Tundras must
first secure vast quantities of regular from the global oil patch</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";">.</span></span></span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: small;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiG-HEZ8pt7HQ7P9ZfFsVmhFtWMEMYYct7UYfpujvH1_ogSDQj21TOjICLXgvTJuup7nXxlK3H2kgdo5CIFEIw4x9Uow7njOypQVd3vSGuob8bnOgZEl3sfZP3mmXPq_5E3SM53ZKmicbk/s1600/Godz.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="226" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiG-HEZ8pt7HQ7P9ZfFsVmhFtWMEMYYct7UYfpujvH1_ogSDQj21TOjICLXgvTJuup7nXxlK3H2kgdo5CIFEIw4x9Uow7njOypQVd3vSGuob8bnOgZEl3sfZP3mmXPq_5E3SM53ZKmicbk/s400/Godz.jpg" width="400" /></a></span></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: small;">Pals, really:<b> </b>Godzillas joke on the set of "Die, Die My Monster" </span></td></tr>
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<span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif" style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"> </span></span></span></span><br />
<span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif" style="font-size: x-large;">Specifically, this means that the two-and-a-half ton 4x4 is rated at 15 miles to the gallon in combined city-highway driving. That breaks down into something like 13 mpg on business-district rampages, and 17 on highways</span><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif" style="font-size: x-large;"> leading elsewhere -- which just happens to be where I and my lovely companion, Miss Woo, are headed.</span><br />
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<span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif" style="font-size: x-large;"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="color: #e69138;">I can’t say
how many Chevy Silverados there are in Silverado,</span> nor count
the Ram Laramies
out cruising Laramie -- but it's a fair bet that Tundras are scarce on the
ground for which they’re named. Fortunately, Woo and I were bound for a somewhat lower
latitude -- a mountainous realm in which </span></span></span></span></span></span><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif" style="font-size: x-large;"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";">loons warble in the night like haunts of evil clowns. It's the kind of thing that a Godzilliac like our $46,000 Toyota Tundra CrewMax 4X4 LTD could lap up like bunker oil.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif" style="font-size: x-large;"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";">We clambered into the thing and fired it up. Inside, the Tundra's use of high-quality materials had it resembling a Ford 150. Also, larger and better-positioned controls for such things as dual-zone climate tuning, a USB port, Bluetooth and an "Entune" multimedia system were on hand. Not that the cab lacked its share of hard plastics, but the increase in leather surfaces limited these, while an expanded rear-seat area enabled the 4x4 to accomodate five, and perhaps more if we're talking salary men. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKTLiGRVArOnJQsLt41VsWMuJyXCyyZjcAba5ZfFjp4OMVNlY6JFrc9kYb80aOKWLeeU8K_P-7LfHKrrbhcp44sGxJkE8ZRS0ML0JOwvO3ZBBKplKuJRkgLF800g-38fWgY8ffloC1uLY/s1600/tundraint.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKTLiGRVArOnJQsLt41VsWMuJyXCyyZjcAba5ZfFjp4OMVNlY6JFrc9kYb80aOKWLeeU8K_P-7LfHKrrbhcp44sGxJkE8ZRS0ML0JOwvO3ZBBKplKuJRkgLF800g-38fWgY8ffloC1uLY/s320/tundraint.jpg" width="320" /> </a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKTLiGRVArOnJQsLt41VsWMuJyXCyyZjcAba5ZfFjp4OMVNlY6JFrc9kYb80aOKWLeeU8K_P-7LfHKrrbhcp44sGxJkE8ZRS0ML0JOwvO3ZBBKplKuJRkgLF800g-38fWgY8ffloC1uLY/s1600/tundraint.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif" style="font-size: x-large;"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKTLiGRVArOnJQsLt41VsWMuJyXCyyZjcAba5ZfFjp4OMVNlY6JFrc9kYb80aOKWLeeU8K_P-7LfHKrrbhcp44sGxJkE8ZRS0ML0JOwvO3ZBBKplKuJRkgLF800g-38fWgY8ffloC1uLY/s1600/tundraint.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a></div>
<span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif" style="font-size: x-large;"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span>
<span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif" style="font-size: x-large;"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";">In high command position Woo and I wound our way</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif" style="font-size: x-large;"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"> through Pennsylvania's mouldering landscape of old industry and older bits of wild on our way to New York's Adirondack park. Along a route familiar to faithful readers,</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span> <span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif" style="font-size: x-large;"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";">the Tundra's 381-hp eight</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif" style="font-size: x-large;"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif">applied its </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif" style="font-size: x-large;"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif">401 lbs. of foot-torque to </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif" style="font-size: x-large;"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";">the task of running the interstate in a fairly poised manner while </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif" style="font-size: x-large;"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";">ticking down the miles to the next gas station.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif" style="font-size: x-large;"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";">Fortunately, lots of gas-and-goes raise their </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; font-size: x-large;">canopies along Pennsylvania's Route 81. A fill-up at one of these brought us into New York's Unadilla Valley, a land of deep blues and greens that rolls amid Victorian farmsteads into Herkimer County on the Adirondacks' southwestern tier. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif" style="font-size: x-large;"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif">The 45-mile vale is "</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif" style="font-size: x-large;">dotted here and there</span><br />
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<span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif" style="font-size: x-large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjo2LRMCD4q7nR4JBtxCpZ0blAhKKtCEvAauKXhg9w5e_7CXRDhhVgI39r6RVKg9nLxEJJc1zFM1lv8B3WLU_Swr3OgwKVcb3RIa0lXEj3HSX9T-XdE0uDeJNZtF6gcyrZHnx19mj-2dF0/s1600/unadillavalley.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="206" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjo2LRMCD4q7nR4JBtxCpZ0blAhKKtCEvAauKXhg9w5e_7CXRDhhVgI39r6RVKg9nLxEJJc1zFM1lv8B3WLU_Swr3OgwKVcb3RIa0lXEj3HSX9T-XdE0uDeJNZtF6gcyrZHnx19mj-2dF0/s1600/unadillavalley.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></div>
<span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif" style="font-size: x-large;"> with blooded cattle grazing peacefully</span><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif" style="font-size: x-large;"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif">"</span> wrote B.E. Chapin in an 1899 railroad promotional entitled</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-size: x-large;"> <span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif">"Outings on the Lackawanna."</span><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"> Driving it today affords travelers much the same view of the valley and its eponymous river, which winds, as Chapin observed, "in and out amid the oziers and willows." </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif" style="font-size: x-large;">"An osier <i>is</i> a kind of willow," insisted Woo, drawing upon her vast arboreal knowledge. </span><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</xml><![endif]--><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; font-size: x-large;">Regardless, the MechaToyota sluiced past all willows, running the rural byways without drama. Perhaps "sluice" is the wrong word here as we found </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; font-size: x-large;"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif">the Tundra's (double wishbone front, multi-leaf rear) suspension to transmit even small road imperfections. But that didn't keep the</span> four-by from leaving lowlands behind for the Adirondacks' piney stands of tendril, trunk and bough -- </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms"; font-size: x-large;">woods that enveloped the truck's passage before parting again to present its samurai grille with broad vistas of land and water set against mountains to come</span><span style="font-size: x-large;">.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: small;">Woo of the Wilderness</span></td></tr>
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<span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif" style="font-size: x-large;">Approaching the forest, the road smoothed into an ancient silence that caused us to glance again at our gas gauge. Thus, we were prompted to stop and fill up yet another time before entering the park, which, as a partially protected wilderness, was not above presenting us with a roadside hot dog stand fashioned from a caboose. We could not do other than stop and pick up a couple of Coney Island redhots there, just within the Village of Poland, which itself lies within the Township of Russia, New York. Woo wondered if this association didn't reflect one that existed between the two so-named countries late in the 18th-century. "</span><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif" style="font-size: x-large;">That was when Polish territory was absorbed into the Russian Empire," she said, eating a picklelilly-slathered dog </span><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif" style="font-size: x-large;"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif">as she drew upon her encyclopedic knowledge of the past</span>. </span><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif" style="font-size: x-large;">Intent on spotting the ratty '56 Imperial limo I remembered once patroled these parts, I barely nodded in response. But that was enough for Woo, who then concluded that the Russia thing "must've had something to do with when these towns were founded." "Yeah," I replied, figuring the Poland-cruising Chrysler Imperial had long since gone the way of Poland-absorbing Imperial Russia.</span><br />
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</xml><![endif]--></span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><span style="color: #e69138;"><i>Frankly,
none of us have ever faced a situation like quite like this one before ... Your
courage will never be more needed than it is today.</i><i> </i></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><span style="color: #e69138;">-- Admiral
Stenz,<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"> </span><i><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Godzilla</span></i><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"> </span></span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial";"> </span></i></span>
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<span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif" style="font-size: x-large;"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif">As seen on maps, the Adirondack preserve resembles a Connecticut-sized tick crawling its way to Quebec. S</span>omewhere in that tick's rump and only about a league from the lakeside cabin that was our destination, the Tundra drove through an alpine setting in which mountains rose from beyond either side of the roadbed to peak in the radiant blue. </span><br />
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<span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif" style="font-size: x-large;">Getting to where we were headed, we'd soon have to zip up one of those mountains via a dirt road, it's boulder-strewn path marked by hairy stretches of 20-degree inclines. While the</span><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif" style="font-size: x-large;"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"> MechaToyota's </span></span><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif" style="font-size: x-large;"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</xml><![endif]-->electronically-controlled 4WD transfer case enabled it to negotiate these without any sacrifice in speed, </span>a truck like the air-suspension-equipped Ram 1500 would've bounced us (and the quartet of salary-men we found riding in back) around a lot less.</span><br />
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<span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif" style="font-size: x-large;">And the Ram isn't the only one with the jump on the Tundra.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif" style="font-size: x-large;">As its competing GM and (best-selling) Ford
150 pickups have responded to the emergence of fuel economy as a big-truck
selling point, the 2014 Tundra has become the victim of changing times.
Like a tragic, third-reel movie monster, it screeches piteously while battling
for market share against abler competitors and their direct-fuel-injected
V-6s.</span></div>
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<span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif" style="font-size: x-large;">Now that the credits are about to roll on the current model year, we find the Tundra starkly alone on that smoking battleground. While a radically re-designed 2015 Ford 150 and a 25-mpg Ram 1500 will soon recommence this fight, whatever its flaws, the 2015 Tundra will stand its ground as a MechaToyota of strength, durability and
resale value. </span></div>
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<br />Alan Wellikoffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15013001805725976441noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-729004592069562676.post-21139959602382047702014-07-12T10:28:00.000-07:002015-02-07T19:16:48.905-08:00Fusion. Ford Fusion: From Somewhere on the Bosporus to a Soviet Dead Drop in an Energi SE <div class="MsoNormal">
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b><span style="color: #e69138; font-family: Georgia;">W</span><span style="color: #e69138; font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">hile</span><span style="color: #e69138; font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> </span></b><span style="color: #e69138; font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">you only live twice,</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">
James Bond has had many incarnations. Together, these have upheld
Queen, Country and Film Franchise for more than a half-century. It's been a long run -- and one requiring much in the way of automotive hardware.
That's how Bonds from Sean Connery onward have come to drive around in everything
from AMC Matadors to ZAZ 965s.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: x-large;">Still, the essential Bond-mobile is -- and will remain -- the Aston Martin DB5.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: x-large;">The DB5 is cool --
and judging from its subtle bonnet bump, 007 sits at
the banjo-spoked wheel of one </span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">in the above photo. With jaw firmly set, he glares at </span></span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: x-large;">evildoers pursuing him </span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: x-large;">in their Citroen
Traction Avant. Not that Her Majesty's suave Cold-War paladin has anything to fear, for after negotiating a tire-squealing series of curves, </span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">his Aston will likely squirt</span> a viscous, MI-5-developed fluid onto the roadbed, thereby causing </span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: x-large;">the</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: x-large;"> Traction to lose traction and plunge headlong into the Bosporus, or wherever. </span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEyNrm_7ZaXEHKBozw8BFCSD_p-LfO8cIaZSMEO72iigfdRUxUMVIyPMd_t84jmuXBGOY1yhuxzbed3Qvbnee8O-87K1jKvg12-05DvoWVBqHl91E7108X32W6381mNRU6ICV1_EbE8mQ/s1600/mtfusion.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEyNrm_7ZaXEHKBozw8BFCSD_p-LfO8cIaZSMEO72iigfdRUxUMVIyPMd_t84jmuXBGOY1yhuxzbed3Qvbnee8O-87K1jKvg12-05DvoWVBqHl91E7108X32W6381mNRU6ICV1_EbE8mQ/s1600/mtfusion.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>The 2014 Ford Fusion.</b> <span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">Photo: Neil Hayward</span></span> </span></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">Odds are better than
in baccarat that if Bond were to find himself chased down that same road by cyberterrorists in a new Ford Fusion -- things would be different.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">For one, the Ford's </span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">electronic stability control</span></span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> </span>and </span></span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">"</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">European-inspired" MacPherson struts</span></span> </span></span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: x-large;">would make the car less likely to sail off a cliff. Moreover, an</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: x-large;"> optional Lane Keeping System (which uses</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: x-large;"> a lane-mark-reading camera mounted atop the sedan's windshield) </span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: x-large;">would also help keep it squarely on-track.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: x-large;">Then there are the aesthetics involved. The Ford's styling -- while not wildly futuristic by Jetson-era standards -- would nonetheless be absent </span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">the Avant's sinister, Bond-villain cast</span></span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: x-large;">. In fact, something
about</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; font-size: small;"><b>Fusion fancifully fused</b> with Aston-Martin Mondeo</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: x-large;">its fascia would seem downright familiar to the international man of intrigue. His stern visage might soften as </span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">he noticed how closely the Fusion's trapezoid grille resembled the one on his Aston.</span> </span><br />
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</span>
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: x-large;">At that point, 007
would rightly infer that the Aston Martin's bug-inhaler had also lived twice. Only
this time on a Ford. </span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: x-large;">This homage -- or theft, depending on how you look at it (legal teams representing Ford and its former subsidiary, Aston Martin, are currently divided on the matter) </span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: x-large;">-- helps make the new Fusion one of the best-looking five-passenger sedans idling<span style="color: #e69138;">*</span> at remote border crossings or quietly going the distance under drone-patrolled skies.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: x-large;">The Fusion comes in standard, hybrid and a hybrid-plus-plug-in version like our Energi test car. All are midsize sedans, and, as such, occupy a category more associated with domesticity than derring-do. Countering the car's family-oriented features (that include airbags galore, optional rear inflatable seatbelts and a five-star safety rating), our $44,000 Energi was also equipped with 17-inch aluminum wheels, fog lamps, spotter mirrors, a rear-view video camera, a smartphone app and nav system, some of which might come in handy for covert ops once the family's let off somewhere.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjS3vErkMjVbYZrZhU2jqo6yTADaj9dlPxbjlKhoo6AlJEsXzWorA5yvrADvel6pLmJPLpRjM_44rg5cWEvODdqlAjcZ9wrQWu6S7L4afWO2XvuZcmYg3MUyJHUD8I_Y8VgEC2RUXjrc6U/s1600/energiint.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjS3vErkMjVbYZrZhU2jqo6yTADaj9dlPxbjlKhoo6AlJEsXzWorA5yvrADvel6pLmJPLpRjM_44rg5cWEvODdqlAjcZ9wrQWu6S7L4afWO2XvuZcmYg3MUyJHUD8I_Y8VgEC2RUXjrc6U/s1600/energiint.jpg" height="153" width="320" /></a></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: x-large;">Owing to </span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">its roominess and use of finer materials, the</span> </span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: x-large;">test Fusion's cabin exuded a sumptuousness that seemed to anticipate its luxury-car aspirations. Its standard features comprise leather-trimmed heated and ventilated front seats, a
10-way power-adjustable driver’s seat, a heated steering wheel,
dual-zone automatic climate control, satellite radio, Bluetooth and more. </span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: x-large;">The only drawback we found was with the
standard MyFord Touch infotainment system, which was about as awkward to operate as a pair of dagger-tipped oxfords.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: #e69138;">Despite
the Energi's Soviet-sounding name, it isn't nuclear powered.</span> If it were, AJ (Automotive Journalism) 5 would require us to recapture its plans by taking a Cigarette boat to a remote equatorial island, there to rappel deep into the throat of its central volcano. This would land us in a vast evildoer lair resembling the scaled-up tube chassis of a Philco Predicta. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: x-large;">Avoiding the lair's shark tanks while peppering its scantily-clad SMERSH vixens with racy<i> bon mots</i>, we'd eventually make off with the plans in a Chinese junk luxuriously outfitted with Persian caviar, French champagne and a bed once belonging to N.K. Winston of the OSS. As we busied ourselves searching this last for tarantulas, </span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">the island's hottest Smershette would slither into it</span> in the manner of a panther into an orphanage.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: x-large;">Then, somewhere off the junk's ornate stern, the volcano would blow</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> higher than Krakatoa</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">. In its glow, we</span>'d dispense one last quip and begin to examine the purloined plans. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"><span style="font-size: x-large;">Here's what they'd show: The Fusion's not nuclear. (Don't know what we were thinking -- that was the '58 Ford<i> Nucleon</i>). </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"><span style="font-size: x-large;"> </span><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjACcDnyOytLV1-Pq2HZ68RCCoPYxpjsbybnD96ER9Nz_ikzGdKTymZGgERpHtKZgdD2h19-S6F9i8ih109vT1cZcsn94AI47LftntPwA6agyxgRUVGdZhGpIYmmoVouguYcJp8O9xKgpI/s1600/Ford_Nucleon.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjACcDnyOytLV1-Pq2HZ68RCCoPYxpjsbybnD96ER9Nz_ikzGdKTymZGgERpHtKZgdD2h19-S6F9i8ih109vT1cZcsn94AI47LftntPwA6agyxgRUVGdZhGpIYmmoVouguYcJp8O9xKgpI/s1600/Ford_Nucleon.jpg" height="265" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; font-size: small;"><b>You'd know if it had been:</b> The Nucleon was never produced</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-size: x-large;"> </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"><span style="font-size: x-large;">Rather, it uses the same hardware as found in its hybrid stablemate -- a 2.0-liter four-cylinder
engine bolted to a front-drive, continuously
variable trans-axle (or CVT) that houses an electric motor. While this makes the Energi's output identical to that of the Fusion Hybrid at 188 horsepower, the addition of a 7.6-kilowatt-hour lithium-ion battery pack allows the car to operate as a purely electric vehicle at speeds up to 85 mph.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">Thus equipped, the Energi can achieve 49 miles per gallon during normal gas-hybrid operation, combined with an equivalence to 100 mpg while in all-electric mode. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0OSrGU1HrrMAjBTtL2Gnz1Whpp6_0JzgfOvd4zBRZbr16vXmnZl2ROUdeufdpfbmHPIZ4Hz5JzUVC3evaK5ffNs1_77BZZVX8XvlGQydgwVsASeIs0PQNQ5D1pp_Q9elY-IyE9oZU-xk/s1600/aston-martin-db5-1984-james-bond-real-film-car-3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0OSrGU1HrrMAjBTtL2Gnz1Whpp6_0JzgfOvd4zBRZbr16vXmnZl2ROUdeufdpfbmHPIZ4Hz5JzUVC3evaK5ffNs1_77BZZVX8XvlGQydgwVsASeIs0PQNQ5D1pp_Q9elY-IyE9oZU-xk/s1600/aston-martin-db5-1984-james-bond-real-film-car-3.jpg" height="305" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; font-size: small;"><b>Pussy galore </b>warms Bond's fender as he checks for tarantulas</span></td></tr>
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<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: x-large;">All of which sounds great until you realize that the Energi's plug-in feature requires an additional $10,000 outlay -- a substantial hit even if</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: x-large;"> offset by a $3,750 federal tax credit and ten percent state rebate. What's more, the plug-in's battery pack eats up half the trunk and takes seven hours to charge once you get Interpol to locate a suitable 120-volt outlet. Even then it yields only enough juice for short trips</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: x-large;">. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: x-large;">Is it worth it? Well, as Dr. No might put it: "No."</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: x-large;">Not yet anyway. The Energi's there for those who like to think of themselves on the cutting edge of gadgetry, or green tech, regardless of cost. It's like the majority of Prius owners who've indicated they bought the brand primarily for "what it says about (them)" rather than what it does for their purse or the environment. Of course as distinctively American as the Energi appears (despite the Brit grille), it's going to have trouble with that demographic as well. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: x-large;">This was recently brought home to us in a parking lot where one gray-haired matron dressed in the style of a Che-supporting Ecuadorian shepherdess was discussing the merits of her newly-acquired Prius hybrid with another, similarly attired, woman</span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"><span style="font-size: x-large;">. Our remark, made after begging pardon and while unlocking the door to the Energi parked alongside, that "this car actually achieves better mileage," was admittedly intrusive. Worse, it implied that one of the parties present may have just made a costly mistake. Still, the claim seemed welcome until the ladies gave the Energi the once-over. Then, withering looks worthy of Rosa Klebb told us we were once again in violation of approved standards of ideology.</span><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEij-9UCaf5vlyvHoN7zPRnd5G29eBSeqxncKiJfay1L4Y0xSXLk1qSF9Mss0KEaI6GC-bCi7PUp__MhYIj-vG7fEM9kFdmOs3s1Cvu4rhqaYGp_vVYZTTrsRvC57ppoxghbh-zdoPH7BKM/s1600/klebb3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEij-9UCaf5vlyvHoN7zPRnd5G29eBSeqxncKiJfay1L4Y0xSXLk1qSF9Mss0KEaI6GC-bCi7PUp__MhYIj-vG7fEM9kFdmOs3s1Cvu4rhqaYGp_vVYZTTrsRvC57ppoxghbh-zdoPH7BKM/s1600/klebb3.jpg" height="320" width="247" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; font-size: small;"><b>Klebb:</b> Really more saddened than angry</span></td></tr>
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<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: x-large;">Fearing that our political incorrectness might risk us a confrontation with tarantulas, we beat it to a park outside of D.C. called the Cabin John Regional. Leafy, bucolic, popular with young families -- it's got a miniature diesel railroad you can ride through its woods.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: x-large;">Being as few would suspect it was also once used as dead drop for a notorious Soviet spy -- that's where we decided to go.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: x-large;">Southbound along I95, the Energi’s impressive handling served the situation well. The highway was flat and broad through here, its sky brilliant at midday. Sunlight glinted off the cascading glass facades of office buildings that intersperse its route with walls of corporate-government anonymity. </span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">As reflected in these, t</span>he Ford moved out handsomely, its ride steady and its steering sharp. That said, back roads like those leading to the park reinforced a suspicion that the Energi is anything but tossable. Rather, a feeling of heft (no doubt partly due to the weight of that extra battery pack) combined with the car's leather-lined cabin to impart a lofty sense of substance that accompanies the driver everywhere.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjs6IBkQHrxUNSYxcjPkDxX0ONSlppSBUc6wMCgDB4KMDTreEC1DhBuuxdJ5A_i1XtJnfA4_aqoR1qx-uhAXHZbY_moGNUh4wyY2pz0-3pRxMOCz79BUnQcO2UN99aF6O4H-KfXTbIOUQM/s1600/cabin+john.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjs6IBkQHrxUNSYxcjPkDxX0ONSlppSBUc6wMCgDB4KMDTreEC1DhBuuxdJ5A_i1XtJnfA4_aqoR1qx-uhAXHZbY_moGNUh4wyY2pz0-3pRxMOCz79BUnQcO2UN99aF6O4H-KfXTbIOUQM/s1600/cabin+john.JPG" height="320" width="256" /></a></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: x-large;">We arrived at the park to just catch the train as it pulled away from its little station. This landed us in a seat next to a woman with a heavy Russian accent. Suspiciously, she seemed nice. Nodding pleasantly in response to whatever it was she was saying, we rode the Cabin John's woodland route. When the train skirted the parking lot, the Fusion could be spied loyally standing by. Although far </span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS"; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">from the Bosporus' cedar-topped plateaus</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">,</span> it still had that look -- that DB5 look of what they refer to in the spy game as "legend."</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; font-size: small;"><b><span style="color: #e69138;">*</span></b> Can hybrids really be said to "idle"? A neologism may be needed here. Tell
you what: A vintage copy of Andrew Whyte's lavishly illustrated remainder book, <i>Jaguar -- The Definitive History of a Great British Car</i>, goes to the reader coining the best new term expressing what a hybrid is doing while "idling." Submit via comments page. Winner to be announced on <i>The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson.</i> </span> </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS";"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span></span> </span></span>Alan Wellikoffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15013001805725976441noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-729004592069562676.post-52303867202815682572013-12-16T12:37:00.000-08:002016-03-12T13:05:06.963-08:00The Aging of the Dawn of Aquarius: From Baltimore to Woodstock in a 2013 Volkswagen Turbo Convertible<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUTJsQqnUa8w6NX4thhbr_NFgzLsAIL_OgBRN74hu_7Hwyl-jI8N-cRc6RkSiE6oF07bRj8JQS2H5o9xvWbdEG5vELX_16IeBOZ1_gPRG257PEqWv9IEBa-3oipS_N9Stj0PKbsN-DP4M/s1600/oden.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUTJsQqnUa8w6NX4thhbr_NFgzLsAIL_OgBRN74hu_7Hwyl-jI8N-cRc6RkSiE6oF07bRj8JQS2H5o9xvWbdEG5vELX_16IeBOZ1_gPRG257PEqWv9IEBa-3oipS_N9Stj0PKbsN-DP4M/s400/oden.jpg" width="258" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: small;">Say <i>nothing!</i></span></b></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="color: #eeeeee;"><b><span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">W</span></span></b><span style="color: #e69138;">hatever</span><b><span style="color: #e69138;"> </span></b><span style="color: #e69138;">you do, don't
mention the war.</span> <span style="color: #cccccc;">I did once, but I think I got away with it. </span></span><span style="color: #cccccc;">Fortunately, Volkswagen is more
circums</span>pect. Despite the 2013 Beetle Turbo Convertible having been
inspired by VW’s 1949 Type 1, the company draws the line at mentioning the war – or even the
decade in which it was fought – in its retro line-up. </span></span><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">This means that while buyers can
get their new VW cabrios done up in '70s, ‘60s, and even 1950s fashion, any trim-level suggesting a </span></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">German staff car as pursued by P-47s down a forest road
in the Ardennes is </span><i><span style="font-size: x-large;">verboten.</span> </i></span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://i855.photobucket.com/albums/ab111/agabrielw/1949cabriolet_zpsa8dd102e.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://i855.photobucket.com/albums/ab111/agabrielw/1949cabriolet_zpsa8dd102e.jpg" height="305" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>Overrunning countryside, postwar style:</b> The 1949 Type 1</span> </span></td></tr>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Of course, imposing retro designs on a car
that began as one tends to confuse things. Truth to tell, the Beetle and its fastback forebears have <i>always</i> been retro. Even the ‘49 model that
served as our test car’s design buck was barely distinguishable from its 1935
prototype; and if that weren't enough, both models' deco-era lines did the
hustle into disco-era times as a result of VW’s mid-century antipathy toward
cosmetic model-year changeovers. </span></span></div>
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<a name='more'></a><span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Nor did things end there. The </span></span><span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">bud-vase-equipped 1997 New Beetle preserved elements of the brand's prewar architecture -- albeit with a styling vocabulary </span></span><span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">"girlie" </span></span>enough to eliminate a sizable chunk of market share. After that, it fell to the Beetle's current-generation designers to restore some of its old coal-scuttle allure.</span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_LteR216hyvJgVXK9oamYTgnm_3_8UHdPfIc7mf37ZnE5g8Rsbcem3VX9Yb1SGeduLMuOYnCu5c25axOtUMB7alGteWd945_HHL3tP_74hgUVsyICVFVO-umQ0HRVSVzIjEzJr7d6H5o/s1600/2013turbo1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="256" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_LteR216hyvJgVXK9oamYTgnm_3_8UHdPfIc7mf37ZnE5g8Rsbcem3VX9Yb1SGeduLMuOYnCu5c25axOtUMB7alGteWd945_HHL3tP_74hgUVsyICVFVO-umQ0HRVSVzIjEzJr7d6H5o/s400/2013turbo1.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: small;"><b>No bud vase:</b> The 2013 VW Beetle Turbo Convertible </span></td></tr>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">So despite heaping more new-old designs onto a car
that was already retro before retro was cool; and after a 12-year descent into
the compound-curves of distaff marketing -- with their longer front-ends, flatter roofs, more upright windshields (incorporating newly reinforced A-pillars) and D-shaped taillights,</span></span><span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> the newest Beetles sport a style
that's sleek while remaining iconic. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Our test car was gray-colored </span></span><span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">scarab featuring no special nameplate</span></span><span style="color: #eeeeee; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"> or other such business. That said, its
turbocharged in-line four and six-speed manual helped sooth any
sense of deprivation we might've felt. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">As a Turbo, the VW had larger
brakes </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">than its non-boosted stable mates. It also came with </span></span></span><span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">18-inch alloy wheels</span></span>, a stiffened anti-roll bar and reinforced front -- and multi-link rear
-- suspensions. The '60s trim version is similarly equipped with a turbocharger, but won't spare you its groovy evocation of the Johnson era -- which, as we remember it, was really about the johnson
more than anything else.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">We drove the Beetle to Woodstock. We weren't trying
to be cute or anything -- there was just this wedding there to attend.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Zasu the alarm cat slept in, so setting off on our journey took place closer to dawn than first planned. The VW's </span></span><span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">7.1-cubic-foot trunk </span></span>could barely hold more than</span></span><span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> a couple of small suitcases, but -- up front -- its </span></span><span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">2.0-liter </span></span>engine fired up smartly in the dew-laden air to impart little in the way of exhaust note, but nonetheless signal a readiness to roll.</span></span><br />
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</span><span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">With the Turbo warming its way through early throttles and revs, we </span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">drove out </span>to where the northern suburbs' Potemkin-Village farms gave way to the land of the real thing.
Throughout, the cabrio performed admirably -- although not to the level of
such pocket-rocket competitors as the Fiat 500 Turbo and Chevy Sonic RS. There was some turbo lag, of course, added to which the convertible's</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"> structure sometimes produced a </span><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://i855.photobucket.com/albums/ab111/agabrielw/44732578-feb8-4110-bb52-f13b148da71c_zpsf551bea0.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://i855.photobucket.com/albums/ab111/agabrielw/44732578-feb8-4110-bb52-f13b148da71c_zpsf551bea0.jpg" height="160" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: small;"><span class="short_text" id="result_box" lang="de"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b><span class="hps">Die Vater</span></b></span><i><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span class="hps">: Wo</span> <span class="hps">sind im Text</span> <span class="hps">beschrieben,</span> <span class="hps">die Tiere</span></span><span class="">?</span></i></span></span></td></tr>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">subtle rocking motion like you might see </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">merrily bouncing a carload of stogie-chomping hounds and zoot-suit-wearing ducks </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">in an
old Katzenjammer cartoon. </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"> </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">We crossed into Pennsylvania only to find its fleets of Freightliners and Ford Super Dutys obscured by the VW's top. While the triple-layered covering nicely deadened sound and maintained the cabrio's hunkered-down look, it turned even simple lane changes into more of a game of <i>Battleship</i> than was any fun. So, under one of those gas-station flags that make the Star-Spangled Banner seem sized for a car antenna, we lowered the thing (the top that is, not the flag), to open the Beetle's faux-carbon-fiber-trimmed interior to the sky.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">With the top down, any zoot-suited</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> water-fowl in the back would've been freed from the claustrophobia it induced. As sun and wind played across their feathered fedoras, they could peer over the </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilg-OeIZ1G31c4ENqrq8VpdiVx_bQKVwRUS2VJw0bpELnrCjIygmDmXCrzVXOuUjG5r186hSnc2_SyCutZ_bG9oo3xZ8DR6HvMx9eJ-7vxydT0Fn9RplUoxTjMWiCLbCdkEHI8XWJbfnU/s1600/vwint.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="249" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilg-OeIZ1G31c4ENqrq8VpdiVx_bQKVwRUS2VJw0bpELnrCjIygmDmXCrzVXOuUjG5r186hSnc2_SyCutZ_bG9oo3xZ8DR6HvMx9eJ-7vxydT0Fn9RplUoxTjMWiCLbCdkEHI8XWJbfnU/s400/vwint.jpg" width="400" /></a></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Volkswagen's 50-50 split seats, past its </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">dash-mounted pod (incorporating a stop watch and gauges for oil temperature and boost pressure), and out onto a scene in which the interstate tore through a pretend forest before climbing into the Appalachian foothills -- gateway to the Keystone State's coal country -- some five miles distant.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjG2wUZH72PlwSQqacEwp-5BTycHdPgnaz_dZy_nIKEHpTE22m-bI6KwlriRSRaRDd1ZFLT-DHRiHp_z65TCPo_kRub_0gd88QdapfHg5R4fepqMJuzEKXK1KgI1xh7ypyI_Rqqj3uoZ9E/s1600/roadappalachia.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="295" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjG2wUZH72PlwSQqacEwp-5BTycHdPgnaz_dZy_nIKEHpTE22m-bI6KwlriRSRaRDd1ZFLT-DHRiHp_z65TCPo_kRub_0gd88QdapfHg5R4fepqMJuzEKXK1KgI1xh7ypyI_Rqqj3uoZ9E/s400/roadappalachia.jpg" width="400" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Not being a hybrid, the Turbo didn't run on coal. Rather, it took high-test. We weren't so very different, and what with morning getting on, began to think about stoking up on scrapple and eggs . </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Hmmm. Seems like we'd had this Penn-Dutch breakfast hereabouts once before. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">But, we wondered, just where? </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Dunno, came the answering thought. Maybe at that log-cabin diner </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">dimly-recalled </span>off some upcoming exit.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">"That exit was Pine Grove!" hollered a stogie-chomping hound while desperately clinging to some exterior bodywork.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">"It wasn't Pine Grove," proclaimed one of the boutineer-wearing ducks from his backseat perch. "That diner was in <i>Frackville</i></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">." </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Recognizing this last remark for the attempt at leading us astray it was, </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">we began hoovering the hilly horizon something hard. As t</span>he turbo spun up to reel in far mountains, its whine said that this convertible is the closest a Beetle comes to being a GTI. By such means, the car left </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">precincts </span></span>as plastic as Barbie’s </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Dream House to climb onto </span>a leafy parkway</span></span><span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">, carved, presumably, from the region's anthracite sworls. The Bug settled onto this road nicely, its more subtle
driving characteristics -- including reasonably precise steering and a supple ride -- coming to the fore.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #b45f06;"><span style="color: #e69138;"><b><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">P</span>ine Grove </b>and Frackville lie within Eastern PA's coal patch,</span> </span>where towns and to</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">pography</span>
went into a decline along with the demand for anthracite. Here villages huddle
against fields as they did when built by the area's German, English,
Welsh, Irish
and Polish immigrants; while in nearby </span></span><span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">woods</span></span>, mounds of tailings
still follow coal seams, and creeks float the dust of
processed earth. </span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3kiiRpPyZJBjHiLO8duUt-eSGFcETH-c1n2SaVcazVvLmgjDUbnVTXO38flHVZXVdcPgFyfrUvq5KCuIlVJkr76vd-GuIwoWOhbj2x-aB_Mv8ySps7-3RYPx1a8S7MgHN7EnW-XlHvhM/s1600/FranzKline1910-1962PennsylvaniaMiningTown_zps1c565d8e.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="252" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3kiiRpPyZJBjHiLO8duUt-eSGFcETH-c1n2SaVcazVvLmgjDUbnVTXO38flHVZXVdcPgFyfrUvq5KCuIlVJkr76vd-GuIwoWOhbj2x-aB_Mv8ySps7-3RYPx1a8S7MgHN7EnW-XlHvhM/s1600/FranzKline1910-1962PennsylvaniaMiningTown_zps1c565d8e.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: x-small;">Franz Kline, Pennsylvania Mining Town, Oil on Canvas, 1947</span></td></tr>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">On the lookout for scrapple, we cruised these bituminous burgs' bleak streets, their woodframe houses seemingly held aloft by the flyspecked gin mill or pizza joint fixed at the end of each ramshakle row. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Not
that all patch towns follow this design formula, as one village
we saw somehow resembled a run-down Edwardian beach resort; while another looked
like an old Bronx neighborhood set along a rural stretch of the
Reading's right-of-way. Regardless, each stood in contrast to the general run
of Northeast hamlets -- places</span></span><span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> </span></span><span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">where the popular pastime usually involves more antiquing</span></span></span></span><span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> than</span></span></span></span><span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> <a href="http://cdn.phillymag.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/Yuengling-Dogs1-480x384.jpg" target="_blank">Yuengling</a>.</span></span>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Little
of this paints a pretty picture, we know. Anyone reading it would think
the Anthracite Coal Region unlikely to inspire a soulful remake of <i>How Green Was My
Valley</i>. If so, we apologize -- for several similarities exist
between Richard Llewellyn's quaint Welsh mining town and these potty
Pennsylvania parishes</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">For one thing -- despite its new lines -- the VW convertible still looks precious in either.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFUM8l4H7MaLBJ_UepJrPQj30OiC-hT8Yh0FWajqGxJzY1pOZXkbkRzsqEeRww1bpvXfOzVUrQrFdy_164xxgSeFZ72KClZLHWiTLLye0N8zaL69cJqOmnPaMXXK3Ymg8uDAdl_86U-Dg/s1600/vw.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFUM8l4H7MaLBJ_UepJrPQj30OiC-hT8Yh0FWajqGxJzY1pOZXkbkRzsqEeRww1bpvXfOzVUrQrFdy_164xxgSeFZ72KClZLHWiTLLye0N8zaL69cJqOmnPaMXXK3Ymg8uDAdl_86U-Dg/s320/vw.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></div>
<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">You
need only pilot one of these soft-tops down a coal-town's main drag to
sense how close it comes to the metrosexual end of the
Antiquing-Yuengling spectrum. Sure, some locals might like the VW’s German bloodlines
and crisper bodywork -- but set amid the carbon-belching diesels
driven by these Keystone Mollie-Maguires, the little </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">VeeDub resembled the prize poodle in a special on doggie makeovers.
And so, while in agreement</span></span><span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/post-create.g?blogID=729004592069562676#_edn1" name="_ednref1" title=""></a></span></span></span></span> with most Pennsylvania miners</span></span><span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> </span></span> when it
comes to things like wolfing down scrapple, following that with a Yuengling, driving
an old heap and regarding President Obama's merits as, well, <i>dubious</i> --
we were glad to head the test car north again.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Our
traveling
companions concurred -- although their outlook darkened along with a sky
that, with a storm coming in, was taking on our cabrio's cobalt
hue. </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Anticipating
some rain, we pulled onto a shoulder and raised the Beetle's top. A
glance westward brought with it the notion that we'd now come deep into
Deer Hunter country -- at least it looked that way given the
cast of those mountains out there. For the ten seconds it took for the
Turbo's roof to drop, we reflected on how Michael Cimino's eponymous
film </span></span><span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">depicted nature at the same haunted remove</span></span><span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">.</span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><a href="http://i855.photobucket.com/albums/ab111/agabrielw/545f18a3-f08a-45d5-b52f-c02840e17066_zps48fe580b.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://i855.photobucket.com/albums/ab111/agabrielw/545f18a3-f08a-45d5-b52f-c02840e17066_zps48fe580b.jpg" height="297" width="320" /></a></span></div>
<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">"Hey,
driver, eighty-six the film critique and get us to Woodstock," one of the
ducks squawked while checking his look in the rear-view. "I mean what's
next -- a seminar on transgender dance theory?" A pup pointed to the
approaching cloudbank, now black with menace. "See
that?" he asked, his jaw working a Cohiba in a crazed semaphore,
"That is <i>that.</i>" </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">And
so it was -- for within moments we were caught in a god-awful downpour. The Turbo's wipers worked madly to reveal </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">glimpse</span>s
of the rain-swept macadam ahead. That we could tunnel through this
torrent with any confidence at all was a tribute to the improved level
of handling, stability and control that VW's put into these cars.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #eeeeee;">In this way, we all -- the feathered, the flea-ridden, the <i>farfigneugen</i> and the furrow-browed -- approached the New York line.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #eeeeee;">What
a difference a borderland makes -- for at this point along its
Southern Tier, New York is Oz compared to its Mid-Atlantic sister to the
south.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #eeeeee;"><a href="http://i855.photobucket.com/albums/ab111/agabrielw/f8f5cdec-9a4e-4aef-917b-4bbd98b42f93_zps9f9fea0d.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://i855.photobucket.com/albums/ab111/agabrielw/f8f5cdec-9a4e-4aef-917b-4bbd98b42f93_zps9f9fea0d.jpg" height="320" width="305" /></a></span></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #eeeeee;"> Route 88 wound through this kingdom in fine
riparian style, meandering past forests, farms
and fields with nary a billboard to urge you to rent its space nor
pitch the Bigfoot Tourist Center just over the horizon.</span></span></span>
<br />
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">All of which is fine until you consider that every quest classically involves some gateway, or portal, that -- once arrived at -- marks your entry to the Vast and Ultimate Realm beyond. Our quest to make a
nephew’s Catskill wedding, while not exactly the search for the Golden Fleece, held something of like value for us. Even so,
it was reasonable
to expect any portal to the Catskills to be less exalted than that which guarded Troy in the <i>Aeneid</i>, </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">or stood before an ancient Mogu crypt in <i>World of Warcraft</i>. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">We </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">crossed the Susquehanna at Oneonta figuring that -- sure -- </span></span></span>the Bigfoot Tourist Center might reasonably serve as </span></span><span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">a quest-type gateway</span></span>. Either that or the sublime point at which piercing its veil of radio waves brings you within range of
Susan Shaw’s <i>Saturday Night Gumbo</i> out of Roxbury. But sadly, it was too
early in the day for the latter -- and as the former had its complete non-existence
working against it -- we pretty much gave up on the idea.</span></span><br />
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</xml><![endif]--><span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";">Thus, </span>the VW began beetling past</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"> the </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";">gnarled trees and rippling streams that fill the Catskill’s crooked vales. Like a furtive forest troll, it meandered </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";">through the
very region that gave rise to the romance of the American wilderness.</span><span style="color: #e69138;">*</span> An enshrouding fog enhanced</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"> the Mohegan feel of the place</span> by occasionally parting to </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";">allow ghostly glimpses</span></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"> of </span></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";">Rip Van </span>Winkle's</span></span> hemlock-gabled hills, and -- in the bluer depths of its mountain coves -- Chingachgook's forest primeval. </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";">Now suddenly confronted by nature in its raw and untrammeled state, the hounds shed their fedoras and adopted a hangdog look of remorse. Ever contrary, the ducks responded by twirling their overlong keychains with feigned indifference. For its part, the Bug stood out wherever it went -- be it our ski-lodge's Lexus-rich parking lot, or a Saugerties bistro at which a rehearsal dinner was held for my fortunate nephew and his beautiful bride.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";">Grandly named for the New World, the place wasn't all that far from Big Indian. We walked in and looked it over, humming something bouncy by Willy DeVille.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
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<span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"><span style="color: #b45f06;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";">*</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="color: #eeeeee;"> <span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">We're tempted to add here that VW has an historic tie to the mythos of the Black Forest; but saying so brings us uncomfortably close to mentioning the war -- so we won't.</span></span> </span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #b45f06;">Written in loving memory of Zasu </span></span></span></span><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #b45f06;"></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #b45f06;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuBPFXyiJBediGIvsrKBE7qfe7dFanJeVDdvFsIfwZtMEotmDuSSBTwFCBTwD85AW-Cl3Iej9QPovUb2iCG0EXplqfPVaIhZijV-j41hyphenhyphensreLfUqbSr3IB5gSC7Rxc5DN7vnAly5bQ87o/s1600/zaaz.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuBPFXyiJBediGIvsrKBE7qfe7dFanJeVDdvFsIfwZtMEotmDuSSBTwFCBTwD85AW-Cl3Iej9QPovUb2iCG0EXplqfPVaIhZijV-j41hyphenhyphensreLfUqbSr3IB5gSC7Rxc5DN7vnAly5bQ87o/s200/zaaz.jpeg" width="200" /></a></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #b45f06;"></span></span></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /><span style="color: #f3f3f3;"> </span></span></span></span><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"></span></span></span>Alan Wellikoffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15013001805725976441noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-729004592069562676.post-3140824838459733222013-08-17T10:05:00.000-07:002016-09-22T19:23:46.252-07:00We To Buffalo Roam: The 2013 Lexus IS350 AWD<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiTxHjOGkHoI_2XTE4u1ZNO3w4V6KMg5CDtrwhGLFXdOWNX6zGQp_-yMtpKVt5IFajAc0OUK-ok_AVc3380-cmclYTyHQ4zSSxAiXdDJ6AsU14IzSXPvZ9vO0sce30ueAIhFBTpN84PPU/s1600/2013_lexus_gs-350_det_lt_215131_600.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="243" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiTxHjOGkHoI_2XTE4u1ZNO3w4V6KMg5CDtrwhGLFXdOWNX6zGQp_-yMtpKVt5IFajAc0OUK-ok_AVc3380-cmclYTyHQ4zSSxAiXdDJ6AsU14IzSXPvZ9vO0sce30ueAIhFBTpN84PPU/s400/2013_lexus_gs-350_det_lt_215131_600.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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</h4>
<h4>
<span style="font-size: xx-small; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="color: #e69138;">To Allen P. Spaulding, Jr.</span></span></span></h4>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i><span style="color: #e69138; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">I have a theory that the truth is never told from the </span></i></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i><span style="color: #e69138; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">nine-to-five hours.</span></i></span></span></div>
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<h4>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">-- Hunter S. Thompson</span></span></h4>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i><span style="color: #e69138; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">If at all.</span></i></span></span><br />
<h4>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b><span style="font-size: x-small; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">-- Anonymous</span></b></span></h4>
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<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><b><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: orange;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">W<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">e</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> were </span></span></span></span></b><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: orange;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">approaching Big Flats</span></span></span></span><b><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> </span></b><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">on the Southern Tier
Expressway when the Adderall kicked in. At least I think it was the Adderall.
Couldn’t have been the Prilosec. Either way, I remember turning to my sometime
Caribbean songwriting collaborator Dr. Beefalo and saying “History is hard to know with all
the hired bullshit” when there was this tremendous roar all around us. This was
followed by the night sky pulsing in time with the Klezmer version of “People
are Strange” on the radio. “As your sometime Caribbean collaborator,” Beefalo shouted while peering skyward, “I advise applying as much
speed as needed to reach escape velocity in case of a problem.” “Good thought,” I hollered back, Florshiems pressed to the floorboards. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<br />
<a name='more'></a><span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">The car's power made itself known right
off. There was none of the lag you get from turbo machines. As it began to eat asphalt, I considered that this must’ve
been the maneuver a friend performed before crashing his single-engine '65</span></span><span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> Maule Bee
Dee on take-off weeks before. A visionary iconoclast and gonzo artist
whose spirit derived from Leonardo and Mr. Natural in roughly equal measure, his nose-dive from this mortal coil left we who knew him shocked, then stunned, then bereft
and – for two of us, anyway -- about to drive through the night to make his
Buffalo memorial on time. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">It was a night that began at one of those
</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">suburban </span>malls that turn ghostly in the dark. The idea was to leave Beef’s Prius within sight of a security camera while heading off in a test Lexus – a 2013 IS350 sedan costing $48,000 as equipped. In addition to other features, this
meant it came with all-wheel-drive, a six-speed automatic and keyless-starting 3.5-liter, 24-valve, six-cylinder engine generating 306 brake horsepower at 6,400 rpm. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Beefalo arrived wearing his usual tropical shirt and </span></span><span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">pork-pie hat</span></span>. With him was the fish tackle box holding our Adderall, Xanax, Lipitor, Prilosec, Ambien and baby aspirin. Despite his resemblance to Hunter Thompson's Samoan attorney, Dr. Gonzo, Beef's rasped description of the Lexus </span></span><span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">as "sweeet" was made </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">in Dr. John fashion. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">True enough. Parked under a mercury-vapor lamp, the Avalon-based 350 <i>did</i> look sweet</span></span><span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">, its swept and rounded lines lending it a wide-body look. The effect was to end the plainness of earlier models
while making a last stand against the weird spindle grille and razoring sheet-steel of its 2014 successor.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc;"><br /></span>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPGdBZVAvyEpO-phihE27wk3dUlVJLqRK4WYsz3vroJpFdkf2yXD5WIq93g3XGluoIzz6IxPTHVwZA0L47ED4LbiUJuVzZVrfTS4IC7gmMxHQ1hm9hprjNNk-oFFCMLQwpot454uaQx-c/s1600/IMG_1627.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="193" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPGdBZVAvyEpO-phihE27wk3dUlVJLqRK4WYsz3vroJpFdkf2yXD5WIq93g3XGluoIzz6IxPTHVwZA0L47ED4LbiUJuVzZVrfTS4IC7gmMxHQ1hm9hprjNNk-oFFCMLQwpot454uaQx-c/s320/IMG_1627.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>Sweeet: </b>The 2013 IS350 AWD</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Not
that any of this matters when put against Hunter Thompson's two-car dictum. This holds that matched convertibles -- a Porsche and a green Cadillac -- are requisite for gonzo motoring. Why
two drop-tops, asks you? “So you can switch cars when things start to go bad,” the bat-hallucinating bard wrote in Men's Journal, adding: “Be
sure to launch one of these off a cliff.”</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">That's a tall order for most automotive journalists. Besides, the idea of things tracing doomed arcs through the burning blue had temporarily lost its appeal. One thing was
becoming clear however: Ironies – some of them uncomfortable -- were beginning to
mount.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%; tab-stops: 1.0in;">
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">The
night was sultry as we got underway -- a condition the
luxury car’s small but
leather-lined and climate-controlled interior handily overcame. Of course, the trip’s first
Adderall also helped dispel fog -- and so with the Lexus' windshield framing
bright ribbons of roadway under a waxing moon, there was no indication our midnight ride would be attended by fear & loathing.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjTk097P38jId5KoS9qyuRLHYP_vduOM3feflE45F8QrYdl5qltDXaPY37CR6VHhg2tstPv7rtEvU7uODDltRz9RZnJ0kUVg7uVjquPi5zAn9ednVBCZFAY4bEUm3QVJUw8JMWaTuVkzU/s1600/panight.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjTk097P38jId5KoS9qyuRLHYP_vduOM3feflE45F8QrYdl5qltDXaPY37CR6VHhg2tstPv7rtEvU7uODDltRz9RZnJ0kUVg7uVjquPi5zAn9ednVBCZFAY4bEUm3QVJUw8JMWaTuVkzU/s200/panight.jpg" width="200" /></a></span></div>
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</xml><![endif]-->We made Pennsylvania in jig time, beneficiaries of the Lexus' quick throttle response and transmission-equipped Sport mode. The throttle response also jolted my sometime Caribbean companion out of reverie and into autobiography: “I used to scam a
supplier up here into selling me USP-grade nitrous,” he recalled with an oblique nod as we passed
some towering roadside apparition. “I'd say I worked for a place called ‘Superior Air
Conditioning' and needed the ether to repair a glass chiller. He'd sell it to me by the tankful, no questions asked.” </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">This was a reminder that the Keystone State is another country – a mix
of mid-century industrial decay & “Earth After Man” plant
growth. To Maryland, it’s what Louisiana is to Mississippi, or New Hampshire to
Vermont – a swampy, quasi-libertine, cars-on-blocks reflection of its buttoned-up neighbor. This
was especially evident along a dark stretch of Harrisburg through
which the IS350’s <i>sotto-vocce</i>
nav system routed us before leading onto a network of secondary roads.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Thus we came into Northern PA. Thompson, </span></span></span></span><span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">who advocated fearlessness as a way to seize control from a world gone mad,</span></span> called this “jack rabbit country." Supposedly, it's </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">a region in which ennui so promotes lunacy that its rabbits “crouch by the side of a road while waiting for the
next set of headlights to come along.” </span></span></span></span><span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> </span></span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Oblivious to the legions of little pink eyes awaiting our approach, w</span></span>e drove jack rabbit country's wooded byways, passing shuttered establishments touting "Pigs of All Sizes," & "Clyde Peeling's Reptile Land" & the like. En route, I looked out for deer while unfavorably comparing the 350's performance to that of its BMW 3-Series competitor. </span></span><span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Sure, the Lexus delivered power in a glissando of speed. And yes, its
high cornering limits were reached with </span></span><span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</xml><![endif]-->ease. But the entry-level luxo-sedan suffered from barbituate road-feel, and its transmission sometimes searched for the right notch to hit like a jacked-up rock-star</span></span><span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Which brings us back to the roadside's rabbits. Turns out they don't take to the bushes with the passivity of rural teens who get stoned and lie down on runway aprons. Rather, as Thompson went on to write, the rabbits are such gonzo freaks that once a vehicle approaches, they </span></span><span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">dash into its path "with split-second timing to
make it across just inches in front of speeding front
wheels.” </span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAtal4igbTNHYZqGvGtGzYuyALDsSdAEXEh-1B8OiHftLccHXseHBoX_eueP7Yrj7k4DReWOajQ85Dlsamk8C0orrneGm4V4TUWz2pH27UsGfnQKpwYjqVYBrR0JGdlCKVVBCdoZu19Dk/s1600/jackrabbit.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="248" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAtal4igbTNHYZqGvGtGzYuyALDsSdAEXEh-1B8OiHftLccHXseHBoX_eueP7Yrj7k4DReWOajQ85Dlsamk8C0orrneGm4V4TUWz2pH27UsGfnQKpwYjqVYBrR0JGdlCKVVBCdoZu19Dk/s320/jackrabbit.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></div>
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">The Lexus' 17-inch alloy wheels were well suited to controlling understeer -- a useful aid in keeping bunnies from becoming road-kill. Luckily, we never encountered any of Tioga County's road-running rabbits, so I never had to slam on the Lexus' power-assisted discs to spare their lives. On the other hand, I was<i> </i>struck by Thompson's suggestion that we each abide in a jack-rabbit country of our own making. As the gonzo embrace of life demands defiance of its death -- we too must sometimes make the mad dashes that lead from ground to glory. </span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Beefalo, who'd been practicing "Spirit in the Sky" on his ukelele, agreed. "Such moves are sometimes undertaken in a vintage airplane," he averred before relapsing into memoir: "I remember a night at a bar in South Beach when this one Cuban hooker had thought another was moving in on her turf. So there was a god-awful fight. Both got their blouses torn and lost their neoprene wigs -- but in the end the winner was able stand astride the loser to proclaim: 'You were <i>told</i>, bitch. Now you been <i>showed</i>.' Heh."</span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">There was Dr. John again -- but if this story hid another life-altering message, it was lost on me. </span></span></span></span><span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">So I asked Beef to hand over the tackle box from which I fished out another Adderal</span></span></span></span> </span></span></span></span><span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">and fiddled with the 350's satellite radio to see if I could find "Carmelita" playing somewhere in the ozone.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">As is often the way with such things, my search ended with our listening to "People are Strange" instead. That's when the night sky went into the Klezmer-accompanied reverb described at the beginning of this piece. It's also when I floored the Lexus, bringing it to speed and staying there until an all-night diner appeared in the distance.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">We took</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> this as a sign. "As your sometime Caribbean songwriting collaborator, I advise you to turn in here," Beefalo directed. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">The place resembled a Denny's that had crawled off to die -- except that it was still open and really an IHOP. No matter. As the diner's only customers, Beef and I slid into a Naugahyde booth and waited for help to emerge</span></span> from its murk of orange-yellow plasticity.</span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">This came in the form of our waitress, whose name tag said "Babi<b>,</b>" but offered no guide to pronunciation. A</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> handsome woman of indeterminate age, she came across as one who had to pull the graveyard shift long after doing so was comfortable. </span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Not that Babi was any pink-collered </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</xml><![endif]-->cliché. Instead</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">, she seemed like the <i>femme-tragicque</i> </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">you'd find waiting tables in a French film. This had me fear she'd engage in the annoyingly contrarian dialogue with which froggie <i>auteurs</i> create irony. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Fortunately, I was wrong.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">"Coffee, fellas?" she asked.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">"Yes please," I replied, </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">admiring the shape of her head.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><i> </i><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">A beat. "Anything else?"</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">"Well, um, Miss<i>,</i> seeing as how Cuban sandwiches are out, my sometime Caribbean collaborator and I would like whatever you've got that corresponds to a Denny's Grand Slam." </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">"We've got pancakes. You know -- pancakes with lots of whipped cream and fruit and stuff. You could have bacon, eggs and pancakes, though."</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">"Sold," I said. "But eighty-six the goo. Just make that sausage, </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjX4_oWRB_4ClCdo6qlNRnsv_jdowFZ_raqgHmuDQiC6AU54VU3NMvwe54OW9Q_qToyRGQdEfgNL19qSL-l3PZad8EAAqoNS-YUX955Ye7KIfm25yr5hS9SFEb-t6S_Vlb_Ku2_Jk0FyB0/s1600/ihop.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="244" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjX4_oWRB_4ClCdo6qlNRnsv_jdowFZ_raqgHmuDQiC6AU54VU3NMvwe54OW9Q_qToyRGQdEfgNL19qSL-l3PZad8EAAqoNS-YUX955Ye7KIfm25yr5hS9SFEb-t6S_Vlb_Ku2_Jk0FyB0/s320/ihop.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">syrup, pancakes, potatoes and eggs, over-easy. And the same for my friend here opposite."</span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Babi shrugged. "Why not just ask for a couple of Coronary Blue-Plates with a hefty side of LDL" she asked while scribbling the order onto her pad.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">"That might take longer to write down. Besides -- is not all this cholesterol-fear a meme trumped up by drug companies and their fellow travelers among the Bobos?" </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Babi smirked approvingly. Sensing a fellow spirit, I asked:</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">"Anyone through here tonight mention odd things happening in the sky?"</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">"Could be the Aurora," Babi offered with a squint out the window. "The Aurora Boreally."</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">"In July?"</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">"Happens." Then in the direction of the kitchen: "Hey Caleb -- we've got the Aurora Boreally out there. In <i>July."</i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">"Say <i>what?</i>" shouted Caleb over the noise of an exhaust fan. <i>"Bor-e-ally,"</i> Babi repeated with asperity. In response, a non-committal "Hmmm" issued from the food prep area.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I was skeptical. "You sure about that being the Aurora?" I asked. "I mean -- this was nothing like the lights you'd see on some 'Wonders-of-the-Ungava' Christmas calendar or anything" "That's true," Beef </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhl7SlSbrYsP_Q-mxk9XwhFpM-X4JRTRabB_sZcEgwQ2PlUdJ12ubzDvyJ_E-OEHZnxAi7gG-Z16KDL_X6w9pgptYGXjRCEjGFeps2UAC2XF_vmK29OGyNfnnDgBtLEjUdbHkPYeFbsaaA/s1600/scorpiodanced.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhl7SlSbrYsP_Q-mxk9XwhFpM-X4JRTRabB_sZcEgwQ2PlUdJ12ubzDvyJ_E-OEHZnxAi7gG-Z16KDL_X6w9pgptYGXjRCEjGFeps2UAC2XF_vmK29OGyNfnnDgBtLEjUdbHkPYeFbsaaA/s320/scorpiodanced.jpeg" width="256" /></a></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">chimed in, </span></span>about to add his own description of the celestial display. "It was like the sky <i>danced -- </i>like Scorpio on approach doing the Electric Slide."</span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Babi directed her attention at Dr. Beef. "Well, maybe it wasn't the Aurora then," she allowed. "That's got lots of shooting colors & such. But we also get the Persius meteor shower about this time. And the Delta Aquarids. Could've been one of them." </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">You've got me there, I thought, never having heard of either. Perhaps in Babi we had someone who could explain the mysteries of biological life as well as broasted chicken. But we never got to find out. With the subject of sky phenomena having run its course, her conversation took terrestrial turn.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">"That your car outside?"</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Until that moment Chevrolet owned the franchise on such inquiries: First there was that horse-country barmaid who wanted a better look at a Corvette Z06; and then the beautiful East Indian doctor who closed up shop so I could give her a ride in a pre-production Chevy SSR. Respectful of the moment, my response to Babi was thick with American-Joe humility: "Sorry to say I don't own it, Miss. It's just a car I'm writing about."</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span>
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">"Oh, well. It's only that my boss is looking for a new car. Seeing as how you write about them -- what'll you say about that one?"</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">"Well, it's nicely understated, that's sure. And its comfortable so long as you're</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSRYvuG-FTizLZdsiVaWdvB_S2aZ8S578BjLydhmaM3R9v0DUdDJX6sQUmXnF3NTPQpCn5pLF4H5IjM4xiadBWapPKuHlCg030AT6RUnpTtkohKnGGWmTm4lOmG4jF5ZVKRIpstNsMR80/s1600/350int.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="238" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSRYvuG-FTizLZdsiVaWdvB_S2aZ8S578BjLydhmaM3R9v0DUdDJX6sQUmXnF3NTPQpCn5pLF4H5IjM4xiadBWapPKuHlCg030AT6RUnpTtkohKnGGWmTm4lOmG4jF5ZVKRIpstNsMR80/s320/350int.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> sitting up front -- although this all-wheel model's a bit cramped on the driver's side. At 26 miles per gallon on the highway, its mileage is pretty acceptable -- and it's got speed, handling and performance. But it somehow lacks soul. Of course, that's my take. Anyone interested might just as well wait and see what the 2014s are like. They're supposed to be 'all new.'"</span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">"Well -- the boss likes the Kia," said Babi resignedly.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">The sky had begun to lighten when Beef and I left Babi at the Big Flats diner door, and it was only a short while later when -- with the first glimmer of dawn at our backs -- we</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> coursed through the countryside leading into Buffalo, its hills dotted with Greek-revival farmhouses and enormous wind turbines of the type our late friend took a lead in pioneering. In time, Buffalo itself appeared, the 30-foot statues </span></span></span></span></span></span>atop its </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgkL9KC3yUZTgAC9PzaK0XICh-5-CofcsfyKT3K3aweEJwP7wMmHhTo29TfumwWl8IX4Ca0j08pylNWZXKbbbajjPx6l-XMpZaPQDBE2NfEq0M8wQ33tZyD1ylKRG51nrI-pE_24H5zrI/s1600/liberty.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgkL9KC3yUZTgAC9PzaK0XICh-5-CofcsfyKT3K3aweEJwP7wMmHhTo29TfumwWl8IX4Ca0j08pylNWZXKbbbajjPx6l-XMpZaPQDBE2NfEq0M8wQ33tZyD1ylKRG51nrI-pE_24H5zrI/s320/liberty.jpg" width="212" /></a></span></div>
<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Liberty Bank building still locked in their nightly battle of alternating torch lights: "<i>I'm</i> the Statue of Liberty," the first flashed her torch as if to proclaim. "No you don't, bitch" flashed the second,<i> I am</i>.<i>"</i></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">There'd be no "you been told, now you been showed" moment. It</span> was just another turf war. Only this one in the sky. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">While somewhere on the ground below, old friends were beginning to gather. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: #e69138; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Scroll down for comments.</span></span></b> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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</xml><![endif]--><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: orange; font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> </span></span></span><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: #b45f06;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"> </span></span></span></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><b><span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">F</span>or all you </span></b><span style="color: #eeeeee;"><b><span style="color: #e69138;">crazy kids</span> </b><span style="color: #e69138;"><b>out there,</b> </span>“gone west” is an old expression denoting someone’s disappearance -- or death. Fair to assume it arose back when </span></span><span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">there was a real western frontier to escape into rather than the scrub behind some BJ’s Wholesale loading dock. <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frederick_Jackson_Turner" target="_blank">Frederick Jackson Turner</a> liked the saying -- and Kerouac bandied it about -- but lately it's gone west itself. Still, old expressions don't really die, they just show up in old movies. Thus, "went west" joins such cinematic chestnuts as Natty Bumppo's recalling the time “since Hector was a pup”
in <i>The Last of the Mohicans</i>, and some beatnik’s bongo-backed adviso
to “split the scene” in the demimonde thriller, <i>Stakeout on Dope Street</i>.</span></span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>Into the setting sun</b>: The 2013 Compass</span></td></tr>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">Just delivered for review, the 2013 Jeep Compass in the drive nears the moment when it too must split the
scene. Not that it has a clue. Judging from the Grand-Cherokee-style grin on its
fascia, the crossover happily awaits being put through its paces by yet another
ink-and-Motor-Honey stained wretch while unaware it's about to get
the chop<i>.</i> Although as of this writing it's still early in 2013, the 2014 Compass is soon to appear in showrooms. That leaves our test car nearly past it. Worse still, it's been reported that the Compass line might be discontinued next year -- a prospect making our tester's unsuspecting grin
all the harder to bear. But – <i>harrumph</i> – emotional displays won’t do.
Everyone knows that Jeep – which had its baptismal under fire at places like
Corregidor and Monte Casino – has reigned as the alpha male vehicle ever since Hector was a pup.</span></span></span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: small;">Thelma and Louise go off-road</span></td></tr>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">With the 2001 advent of its Liberty model as a
replacement for the Cherokee, Jeep started garnering criticism for bringing
“girlie” versions of its born-in-battle brand to market. Then, after 2007's car-based and non-trail-rated Patriots and Compasses came along, Jeep began to be seen as riding the
on-ramp to the cultural feminization turnpike – where tolls are taken in
testicularity.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">These experiments in soccer-mom marketing haven't gone well. The Liberty, which was to make the 2000 Cherokee last of that noble
line’s Mohicans, will soon find the Cherokee on the warpath to replace <i>it</i>. And despite the tea-party resonance of its name, watch for the Patriot to ultimately go the way of Occupy Wall Street. Last, the Compass may now be looking at only another year of production -- although some take the changes made to its 2014 model as indications that Chrysler intends to keep it around awhile longer.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Still, there’s that 2013 Compass under the sycamore. Badged at the trim-level of a mid-range Latitude, the $26,500 test car comes with
the 2.4-liter four standard on all four-wheel-drive Compasses, and the
continuously-variable transmission that now harmonizes their relationship, but won't be offered on 2014 models.
Additional features include standard multi-stage airbags, full power
accessories, electronic stability control, air-conditioning and heated front
seats; while all-terrain tires, Uconnect devices and a SiriusXM Satellite radio constitute some optional equipment. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Despite efforts to provide the 2013 Compass with a traditional Jeep's air, we found the two-box nothing
much to look at. Worse, the committee-design inherent in its hulking, squared-off wheel wells and upswept D-pillars made the thing look like it's been getting by on testosterone shots. With that in mind, it might be a good thing that the Honda CR-Vs, Toyota RAV4s and
Subaru Foresters making up the Compass' competition sport elements of the bizarre Japanese aesthetic a couple of us privately term <a href="http://www.carstyling.ru/Static/SIMG/420_0_I_MC_jpg_W/resources/entries/3406/Mitsuoka_Orochi_01_1.jpg?87A79C23381280D3028443888CCC66C1" target="_blank">"nipizoidal."</a></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">There -- I've published it. </span></span></span><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">The Old Avenger Pilot agreed. “Doesn’t much look like a
Jeep,” he huffed while clambering into the four-by's passenger seat. As suggested by his
worthy sobriquet, the OAP formed his idea of Jeeps early on. </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">During the Pacific War, h</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">e</span> <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">flew torpedo bombers everywhere</span> <span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">from
under the Golden Gate to over Mount Fuji, so</span></span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> he's not just old school -- but old navy into the bargain. Using his combat-honed navigating skills, we determined to distract the
(figuratively) west-bound Compass by orienting it eastward: first to the
Eastern Shore, and from there beyond the town of Easton to Tilghman Island,
where one of the last of the Chesapeake’s working skipjacks can be found.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">The OAP and
I set out comfortably ensconced in bolstered cloth seats that faced the Compass' simple
and easily-read dash. Rear-seat passengers,
on the other hand, tended to experience a sense of confinement coupled with the choppy
ride afforded by the Jeep’s 104-inch wheelbase. Further back, cargo room was modest by compact SUV standards. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Despite the lack of power and
refinement reported to be inherent in the Compass’
172-horsepower engine, we got down to and over the Chesapeake Bay Bridge’s roller coaster
hump without anything untoward in the way of vehicular clamor and wheeze. While the Compass is based on the oft-maligned Dodge Caliber platform, it benefits from the latter's car-borne composure.
Thus, our journey past the sprawl plaguing this part of
the peninsula was nicely addressed by the Jeep's staunch -- if otherwise
unremarkable -- braking, handling and response. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Still sun-struck under graying skies, bright fields of Canada
geese accompanied our travels, their grasses aglow against the dark stands of loblolly pine marking their borders. It was amid these that the power-sapping effect of Compass’
continuously-variable tranny were felt. Yet more brawn-drain
occurred as a result of the crossover’s light-duty 4WD, which is best
suited to the mildly adverse conditions of places like these where the landscape’s too gentrified to condescend to bust an axle. It must be pointed out that the Jeep offers buyers an optional off-road package that
includes a low-range mode for the CVT, hill ascent/descent assist and a host of
other all-terrain equipment. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Our route took us past broad farms picturesquely appointed with matchbox houses. The Old Avenger Pilot was full of local lore: the town of St. Michael's "fooled" the British in 1813; that's the Choptank on the right, the bay on the left; </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">there's the slip where we'd put in the <i>Pink Lad</i><i>y </i>back when we had her; </span>they used to raise that drawbridge to quell "the coloreds" during race riots; there are Sitka deer in these woods. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">On a finger of land between Choptank and bay, Tilghman's sky and fields grew sere -- the former swept by eagles as they scanned the latter for prey. While quaint, the island had a ghostly feel -- as if remote in time as well as distance; and its locals, descendants of those who'd fooled the
Brits two centuries before, somehow found the arrival of a Jeep Compass </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">into their midst unworthy of another turnout</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">. Thus</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">, quiet reigned as the OAP and I visited the skipjack<i> Rebecca T. Ruark</i> bobbing in the afternoon chop. One of her kind’s last Mohicans, she too will soon retire -- only with her storied name
and heritage intact. </span></span></div>
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Alan Wellikoffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15013001805725976441noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-729004592069562676.post-75982180076566818232012-03-05T14:03:00.027-08:002016-10-20T07:47:41.630-07:00Fashion it Again, Tony: The 2012 Fiat 500c<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><b><span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">T</span>he new </span></b><span style="color: #eeeeee;">Fiat 500 is a solid update of the late-Fifties Fiat <i>Cinquecento</i> -- that 18-year exercise in mouse-eyed adorability that once served Americans as a source of low-cost transport, and -- in the case of its larger sibling, the Fiat 600 -- ruinous fan-belt consumption.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">As one delivered intact through the 1960s in a <i>rosso</i> 600, I ought to know. Wherever this little runabout ran about, it left behind bits of fan-belt like so many mouse droppings. Thus, I couldn't get my kicks on 66 or anywhere else along the vast Aquarian Plane unless equipped with new belts with which to repair the Fiat's 633-cc motor. This parts-changing ritual yielded nothing in the way of sublime insight. It wasn't Zen and the Art of Incline-four Maintenance </span></span></span><span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">or anything like that</span></span></span>. In fact, it shred knuckles like the belts they labored to replace. Still, it was a small price to pay for a car that your standard hippie gamine could just hug to death.</span></span></span><br />
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<a name='more'></a><span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Not that I was any less affected by the charms of the 600’s bodywork. One sight of it peering up at me from a storm-soaked Bronx street -- it’s baby-faced fascia beaming through the torrent -- and I’d forgive it anything. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Ah, but all that automotive anthromorphism disappeared with the Maharishi’s last discomfiting giggle. Once a tie-dyed fellow who'd see the world remade into a tranquil Arcadia, your humble correspondent is now a hard-bitten car writer who'll be glad to see the year pass without hitting a sudden afternoon high of 2,000 degrees. Sure, the new Fiat 500’s lines still appeal in their Fellini-compatible charm -- but only as an unromantic means to an end. After all, this little car is out there having to compete with the Mini Cooper.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">And compete it does – albeit unevenly.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: #eeeeee;">The new Fiat 500 first appeared in 2007 based on the earlier Fiat Trepiuno concept. Just as with the old Cinquecento when introduced in 1957, the new incarnation is taking on both the Volkswagen Beetle and aforementioned Mini (stateside, the Renault Dauphine was also in the original mix, but let's not go there). While all now famously sport retro styling, the Fiat does so at a generally lower price-point.</span> </span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Listing nonetheless for more than $25,000, the 500c tester was a Lounge Cabrio 2-plus (Pop and Sport models are also available) representing the penultimate in trim-lines now that the sport-tuned Abarth model has hit showrooms. As such, its Pepito-the-Little-Mouse aspect is a burnished one, incorporating seven-spoke aluminum wheels, chromium heated side-mirrors and a wine-colored canvas top, this last representing the reprise of another of the old Cinquecento's iconic features.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">The 500c’s (the “c” is for convertible) interior is upscale for its class and offers such Lounge Cabrio amenities as automatic temperature controls, Sirius XM satellite radio and a leather-wrapped wheel. It may not provide the best ergonomics, but is tasteful in a way that only enhances the sense of fun the car imparts. The well-bolstered red-leather-trimmed bucket front seats; the simple dash with its cartoon-car instrument binnacle incorporating speedometer, tachometer, and various electronic readouts in a concentric array; all seem designed with the right amount of whimsy in mind. This car is <i>La Dolce Vida</i> without the surreal ironies <i>– </i>something for which Jennifer Lopez should’ve returned to her hometown Bronx to drive instead of leaving the job to what must've been a sultry male body double.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Whether J-Lo or not, the Fiat’s driver is perched on high with arms that address the wheel in the outstretched manner Italians favor. It’s a command position that seems more <i>ciao, tutti</i> than anything really commanding, and reflects the Fiat’s high-greenhouse-over-short-(90.6-inch)-wheelbase profile. When two or more of these subcompacts come upon one another, their drivers wave in happy cult-car recognition. <i>Bene.</i> But when Mini Coopers are encountered, the little BMWs scurry off. It’s not that the Minis fear the looming 500s, it’s just that with their superior handling and acceleration, they’re just better at that sort of thing.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">But don’t get me wrong, the Lounge Cabrio <i>could</i> scurry. Well, after a fashion anyway. A real mouse surely does better. With its lack of grunt and continuous call down to the engine room for more torque, the Fiat’s aluminum 1.4-liter four produces 101 brake horsepower at 6500 rpm. And while the car’s electro-hydraulic actuated intake valves offer an advance in valve timing, all this technology just seems to give the 500 the heart-meat of an asthmatic hamster. We felt sorry for the thing and wanted to get some country air into those little combustion chambers, so we drove it out to a place on the Piedmont and off the map called Mousetown.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: #eeeeee;">Mousetown bound, the 500c had to first contend with the Interstate, where its lackluster acceleration made entering highways and passing their trucks the stuff of deliberate planning and execution (the car’s upright profile helped it produce the wind roar of a faster vehicle – so there’s that). Here, as elsewhere, the subcompact’s center-console-mounted sport button – which aids in kick-down, road-feel and steering – proved helpful, but at what cost to its 27/32 mpg (of high test) rating could not be determined. Even without use of the sport setting however, the 500C’s steering is responsive, albeit not in the Mini Cooper’s class; while its four-wheel disc brakes provided excellent stopping power.</span> </span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b><i>Grande Entrata</i>,</b> Mousetown</span></td></tr>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Mousetown lay at the end of an old corduroy road that seemed to travel back a century with each passing mile. It ended in a forest path that looked to be from around the time of the Battle of Cannae – only with hillbillies. While requiring frequent downshifts, the 500c’s six-speed automatic negotiated its rough terrain admirably and allowed the car to ascend more manfully than mouse-fully into the rodentine Brigadoon, which probably had never seen a Fiat of any stripe before.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I sat amid the trees reflecting on the fact that this new Fiat had a truly Italian spirit as a vehicle not be taken too seriously. Rather the 500 is meant to be enjoyed for what it is – a car that creates an atmosphere of fun. In it, you can go to your happy place; just forget about tearing up the highway getting there. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Then again, one look and you might forgive it anything.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: orange; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><i>FIN</i></span></span></h1>
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Alan Wellikoffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15013001805725976441noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-729004592069562676.post-13934796234472374232011-10-29T09:47:00.001-07:002021-07-29T13:28:08.659-07:00Shiver Me Skid Plates: On the X-Trail of Pirate Jamaica, Part II<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="http://hooverthehorizon.blogspot.com/2011/09/shiver-me-skid-plates-on-x-trail-of.html" target="_blank">Continued from Part 1</a><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif" style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: white;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="color: #e69138;"><b><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> </span></b></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif" style="color: #e69138; font-size: x-large;"><b><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">A</span> short walk past an</b> old Red Stripe</span><br />
<span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif" style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: #e69138;">sign</span> proclaiming it to be “Where the Buccaneers Drank their Beer,” brought me into the city that cheered Morgan on his return from Portobelo. You needn't be Rockefeller to see that Port Royal is a far cry from a prim Williamsburg restoration or anything like that. Rather, the Pirate Pompeii greets the sunrise as a quiet fishing village in which uniformed schoolgirls await their bus in the dawn's crisp air, and --provided you stay long enough past <i>day-oh </i>for it to open -- the Red Stripe flows pier-side at a shabby watering hole called the Fisherman's Cabin. For me, it was enough to pull a chair up to this still-shuttered establishment and watch a rusted freighter sail the harbor in a scene as tropical as any showing palm-shaded natives with pots on their heads.</span><br />
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<span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif" style="font-size: x-large;">Dilapidated in true Jamaican fashion, Port Royal still reels from the 17th-century quake and appears all the more "pirate" for it. </span><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif" style="font-size: x-large;">Indeed, as I was advised after being joined by a grizzled denizen of the Fisherman's Cabin pier named Rodney Campbell, you can find specters of the old buccaneers still haunting the island. "Ah, but where?" asks I, eager to experience these ghosts firsthand. <i>"Aahll aroun',"</i> confides he with eyes grown wide. Looking about, he swept his arms in a wide arc. "De pirate spirits are <i>aahll over</i> Jamaica. </span><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif" style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;">” </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif">Nearby, some -- I dunno -- <i>dancehall</i> music drifted on the morning air accompanied by the enticing aroma of frying fish. In the distance, the freighter I'd been watching cleared the harbor's headlands and splashed into open seas.</span></span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: small;">Tomb at St. Peters</span></td></tr>
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<span><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif" style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">But not all the pirate spirit to which Campbell referred was to be the insubstantial variety, as Port Royal retains such buccaneer sites as St. Peter’s Church, which houses the silver communion service said to have been given it by Morgan himself, and upon which pirate buffs gaze in the manner of pilgrims before a chunk of the original cross. Beyond, Fort Charles bristles with cannon as it did at the time of the</span> <span style="font-size: x-large;">earthquake, while across a parade known as Chocolata Hole when it was used as a mooring for ships, original battlements overlook the site of the sunken pirate vessel <i>Ranger, </i><span style="background-color: #666666;">now studied by archeologists. The Old Gaol that withstood the 1692 quake (and which, as imagined by Hollywood, figures prominently in “Pirates of the Caribbean”) stands along a quiet street, unchanged save for a Ting soda sign affixed to its ancient façade. </span></span></span></span><span style="background-color: #f3f3f3;"><br /></span>
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<span style="background-color: #444444;"><span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif" style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">A trip down the airport road brought me back to the Jamaica of Rastamon Vibration and Bob Marley tees. It was from there where I and my swashbuckling (and, tragically, late) cousin and boon companion, Ed Kritzler, with whom I would make my way to the former Jamaican capital of Spanish Town. Author of the best-selling <i>Jewish Pirates of the Caribbean</i>, Kritzler dug up a treasure of Jewish (and Caribbean, and European<i>)</i> history nearly lost to the world. Here was scholar who was anything but scholarly in manner; a gonzo historian driven by what seemed a past life beckoning from a point just beyond his ken. The result was a history that -- while taking decades of Ed's time on Earth to uncover -- could not elude that mysterious call, much less the spirit of what he often referred to as "New World adventure."</span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #444444;"><span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif">Bending the Nissan to our will, Ed and I wended our way past Kingston's industrial harborside en route to the raucously commercial district abutting Spanish Town's Parade Square, some 12 miles distant. The Square is suitably Georgian in aspect and encloses the remains of the courthouse in which the notorious pirate trio of "Calico Jack" Rackham, Anne Bonney and Mary Read were tried.</span></span></span></span><span style="background-color: #444444;"><span style="color: #eeeeee;"> </span></span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: small;">Bonney, not disguising her sex.</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: small;"> <span style="font-size: x-large;"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="color: #e69138;">The daughter of a Carolina plantation owner,</span><span style="color: #eeeeee;"> Bonney had run off with John Rackham, a dandified pirate chieftain. Following the 1720 capture of their ship, the </span><i style="color: #eeeeee;">Revenge,</i><span style="color: #eeeeee;"> they and Read were convicted of piracy – a crime for which Calico Jack was strung up on Rackham Cay, outside Port Royal’s harbor. “Pleading their (pregnant) bellies,” the two women were sent to languish in the Spanish Town jail, the ruins of which can still be seen near the courthouse.</span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif">Of additional pirate note is the grave of Thomas Modyford, colonial governor of Jamaica, who, as Morgan’s abettor, first enlisted him as a privateer. The grave requires a bit of searching, but will be found near the Square in the mango-shaded yard behind the Cathedral of Saint Jago de la Vega, under a layer of dead leaves. Brush these aside and you will just be able to make out the inscription:</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><i>Mistake not Reader for here </i></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><i>Lyes not only the Deceased Body </i></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><i>Of the Honorable Sir Thomas Modyford</i> <i>Baronette but even the Soul and Life of all Jamaica ...</i></span></span></blockquote>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif">Even less readable, the rest seems lost to history.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif">But the pirate-seeking, X-Trail-riding New World adventurer is not lost, and after leaving Spanish Town, may drive Jamaica's sleek Highway 2000 that extends west from near the old capital through a landscape of lush verdure and pale savannah. Here, the Blue Mountains rise to the right, reminders of the tale in which Columbus answered Queen Isabella's request for a description of Jamaica by placing a crumpled-up swatch of green velvet before her. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif">Traveling the larger swatch, the X-Trail's 2.5-litre inline four-cylinder engine with its 150-horsepower output and six-speed manual transmission delivered open-road driving characteristics that -- while not exactly green nor velvety -- were more suited to the car-like traits of the crossover that this Nissan once was than to the truck-like ride you might expect from a now fully-fledged 4x4. Thus transported, Eddie, the SE and I to the village of Toll Gate, where Route A3 begins its course through fields of sugar cane and into an out-of-the-way Eden of green hills, gaily-painted houses and black, iron-truss bridges that my cousin referred to as the "South South Coast."</span></span><br />
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<span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif" style="font-size: x-large;"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="color: #eeeeee;">Near the South South Coast’s southernmost tip the four-by tenaciously clambered over an unnamed road (it sometimes seems that Jamaica tourism’s tagline should be “One Lane” rather than “One Love”), its independent, multi-link suspension and ample ground clearance endowing it with proper dirt-road poise.</span> <span style="color: #eeeeee;">We</span></span><span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"> hugged the shoreline until arriving at </span><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><b><span style="font-weight: normal;">Old Woman’s Point, where</span></b> the elements have carved the image of a seaward-gazing crone into a cliff that also conceals a cave wherein actual pirate booty was uncovered in the 1960s. Well known to Kritzler and others, the discoverer never reported the find — thereby establishing himself as a pirate in the grand tradition</span></span></span><span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif">.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif">Old Woman’s Point presents its profile to what the parchment maps refer to as Long Bay (one of at least two so named on Jamaica) -- a ten-mile arc leading into a mossy headland unpopulated by anything beyond the occasional palm. Standing in the mouth of the cave from which someone stole the buccaneer loot while, elsewhere, people were madly grooving to ”Stoned Soul Picnic” -- one sees the surf-pounded shore frame a view of Jamaica unchanged from that which the pirates had known.</span></span><br />
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Alan Wellikoffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15013001805725976441noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-729004592069562676.post-76410179850910319862011-09-14T12:27:00.000-07:002015-06-27T09:39:38.575-07:00Behold and Wonder: The 2012 Audi A7 3.0 TFSI quattro Auto Tiptronic Sedan<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><b><span style="color: #e69138;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I</span>s it cultural differentiation</span></b><span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="color: #e69138;">,</span> <span style="color: #cccccc;">or the car-makers' take on genetic manipulation? Maybe it’s going hybrid as applied to auto bodies -- or nothing more than novelty for its own sake. Regardless of what's behind it, taking its cue from the International Kongo Kruiser Motor Gypsy (or whatever that is) above, the DNA of traditional car models has undergone a freakish shuffling of late.</span></span></span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; font-size: small;"><b>Good Goth:</b> The 2012 Audi A7</span></td></tr>
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">Thus the hatch-backed and richly named <b>2012 Audi A7 3.0 TFSI quattro Auto Tiptronic Sedan</b></span> <span style="color: #cccccc;">joins with crossovers, roadster pickups, sport wagons, other four-door coupes and the rest of the shape-shifting vehicles to have emerged from Dr. Frankenstein’s Unconventional Car Windmill.</span></span></span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif; font-size: small;">Awaiting the 2012s</span></b></td></tr>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">While more than one of these combined-purpose monsters – the BMW 5 Series Gran Turismo being one example -- make for dubious auto aesthetics, the Audi manages to blend its disparate parts into a pleasing shape that nonetheless brings drama to the party. </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Swooping rearward from a trapezoidal grille flanked by broad air-intakes, Xenon headlamps and LED running lights -- the A7’s charging character-lines travel the length of the car to arrive at a rear deck onto which its fastback roof merges in Wagnerian style. This ends at a nicely integrated set of taillights surmounted by a hidden rear spoiler that manifests whenever the Tiptronic Sedan achieves 80 mph, and only merges back into the car’s goth-like corpus once its speed returns to 50. Not only does this design represent a serious departure from Audi’s past look of softened utility, it's transformational as well: for the A7 serves as the basis for the forthcoming 2012 Audi A6 sedan.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">We didn't attend the press introduction where this might’ve been covered, but the A7’s styling also appears, for want of a better term, seven-happy. Maybe it’s us, or just maybe it’s part of a hidden message that the car’s</span> <span style="font-size: x-large;">stylists set into its bodywork with coordinates for finding the Lost Iron Shield of Beowulf or some-such. Can’t really say. Whatever the reason, we found the A7’s (often reversed) sevens enclosing rear-quarter windows, describing the shapes of taillights, spectrally appearing on the dash, surreptitiously posing as door panel décor and otherwise obeying the will of their unseen master.</span></span></span> </span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">But one needn’t be beguiled by the Tiptronic Sedan’s semiotics to note that this scarab is both stylish and sleek. At least that’s what we infer from the thirty-something males who fall into a trance at each sighting of the thing. These strivers must constitute the Audi’s core demographic, for it’s a cinch the witches who make up the condo parking polizei hereabouts -- the harridans who banished the visiting A7 from the guest lot's Sacred Space -- aren’t contenders.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Not for them the leather and aluminum-look appointments that highlight the car’s handsome and quiet interior with its ample head and leg room. Nor have hags any interest in whatever magic lies in the Audi's smartly turned-out dashboard, with its large instruments and accompanying digital read-outs that approach those of a jet-pilot in their information load. Not so long as the hurly-burly’s undone, and the neighbors come and go. </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">It was amid farms and fields set against a blue September sky that we set its direct fuel-injected 3.0-liter V6 to the task of getting the quattro to go for throttle up along its claimed zero-to-60 range of 5.4 seconds. With 310 horsepower and 325 pound-feet of torque, the car launched smoothly enough, but things only got serious once its supercharger gave it the whip hand. After this, the large sedan gathered speed in manner impressive for its power to weight ratio. We approached the 80 mph point at which the 3.0 TFSI’s spoiler was to deploy, noting that while the car’s ride was not the most liquid we’ve experienced, its eight-speed automatic – equipped with Tiptronic manual-shift operable either by means of a gear selector or optional wheel-mounted paddles – made up for it with seamless shifts.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Even with the mad power surges, we were averaging something in the range of 20 to 25 miles per gallon. </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Along the secondary roads leading into Servern, the Audi’s nav system drew us past a succession of suburbs and miracle miles while driving relentlessly toward the Mythic Thingy we sought there. En route, the A7s handling lacked laser-like precision but nonetheless performed in a capable and athletic way partly owing to such adaptive Audi engineering as that provided by its all-wheel drive system. Under ordinary conditions, this promotes European rear-wheel-drive balance and handling by delivering power to the car's front and rear axles on a 40/60 basis, while also dynamically transferring power fore and aft in response to wheel slippage. Under more adverse circumstances, the Audi's driver can elect for full-time AWD. In addition, the A7's intelligent breaking system corners while lightly slowing <i>the inside rear wheel</i> for an unusual level of control. </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">We applied those antilock-assisted brakes at Severn, the car’s nav-system having curtly announced that we'd reached our final destination. Here stood a crossroads which, while sporting strip malls at all sides, was absent the sole Seven-Eleven that might receive the A7 in benediction. There was a Royal Farms Store though – just no Iron Shield of Beowulf. </span></span></span></div>
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Alan Wellikoffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15013001805725976441noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-729004592069562676.post-63223463866173460222011-09-03T08:45:00.003-07:002021-07-29T13:13:26.615-07:00Shiver Me Skid Plates: On the X-Trail of Pirate Jamaica, Part I<div style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
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</xml><![endif]--><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif" style="font-size: x-large;"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="color: #e69138;"><b><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">W</span>ithin</b>
<b>the archipelago</b></span><b> </b></span>that runs from Cuba's promontory to the Venezuela coast, Jamaica loomed over the Spanish Main like a watchful hawk. This wasn't lost on maritime England, which, after seizing the island from Spain in 1655, used its predatory perch to fall upon that country's gold-laden galleons as they sailed Caribbean sea lanes for Cadiz.</span><br />
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<span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif" style="font-size: x-large;">To relieve Spain of its New World gold, the British commissioned pirates<span style="color: #e69138;">*</span> -- the rag-tag nomads and swarthy misfits who had long preyed on Isabella's ships. It was in the Jamaican city of Port Royal where such bandits as Blackbeard and the doubly fearsome Francis L'Ollonais were masters of the "Brethren of the Coast." After his sacking of Spain's Venezuelan stronghold of Portobelo in 1668, they and all Jamaica would be governed by the pirate-king-turned-privateer, Sir Henry Morgan. </span><br />
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</xml><![endif]--><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif" style="font-size: x-large;">Set between Blue Mountains and an azure sea,
Port Royal reigned among the New World's richest harbors. But “the wickedest
city in Christendom” knew no rival in infamy. As its bloody warren of streets
echoed with the work of thieves, murderers and whores, so did its pirates find
refuge from all that man might do to stop them. How biblical then was the 1692
earthquake that sent two-thirds of this swashbuckling Sodom to Davy Jones --
and how unchanged from that ancient event does Port Royal now appear? What
better place than this to embark upon a search for Jamaica's pirate past.</span><br />
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<span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif" style="font-size: x-large;">But first there was the matter of getting to the island -- something that, once accomplished, can land you within hailing distance of the old corsair capital. That's because Port Royal's surviving precincts lie at the tip of the Palisadeos, a nine-mile spit of land that encloses Kingston harbor while also serving the city's airport. It was there that I picked up the 2011 Nissan X-Trail in which I hoped to discover Jamaica's freebooter days. </span><br />
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<span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif" style="font-size: x-large;">The X-Trail is a four-door SUV that shares a compact platform with the Nissan Sentra. It isn't sold in the U.S. -- and while not so oddly named as Nissan's Lafesta or Qashqai models, the right-hand driver is strange enough to have an exotic air about its doughty yet capable-looking flanks. Of course, there was the usual problem of Nissan taking a clean design beyond earthly limits. As a result, the 4x4 looks as if it, for one, would welcome our new insect overlords.</span><br />
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<span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif" style="font-size: x-large;">Ah, but who was I to turn down a test vehicle -- even one with a headlight array resembling fish scoff. After all, dusk was upon me, and just as it once fell under the shadow of piracy, the road to Port Royal was now about to be darkened by nightfall. There was nothing for it but to be checked into the Morgan's Harbour Yacht Club that stood a ways down the Palisadeos beyond the rusted hulk of a freighter eerily back-lit by the moon. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="color: #e69138;">Guarded by cannon dating “from Henry Morgan days”</span><span style="color: #cccccc;"> according to innkeeper Kamar Anderson, Morgan’s Harbour's' beamed, seventeenth-century-style lobby was decorated with pirate murals and maps, including two</span><i style="color: #cccccc;"> </i><span style="color: #cccccc;">portraits of the hotel’s eponymous privateer – a man whose sturdy visage appears throughout this part of Jamaica.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif"><span style="font-size: x-large;">The Nissan stood ready, its White Pearl paint more pearlescent in a light rain; its simple and neatly-trimmed dash visible though the beads of moisture filling its window. Now all that was needed was for me to clamber into the wrong side of this unfamiliar truck -- at night, on virtually no sleep, in a gathering tropical storm. Thereafter, I was to follow a complex set of directions down what would normally be lanes of oncoming traffic to get to Kingston’s Soweto-like neighborhoods -- their streets teeming<i> </i>with people who (despite the hour and what was now an ungodly downpour) followed the truck with bloodshot eyes while their children ran mad dashes before its bumper. Apparently this SUV and I were suspect novelties in these parts of this murder capital, and whether or not it was to escape all the unwelcome attention, I remember negotiating a series of back streets, any one of which might've brought me to a dead end.</span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif">I nearly reached for the Nissan's Bluetooth. Except that it's hands-free. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: x-large;"><span face=""trebuchet ms" , sans-serif">Soon after, while sitting amid the warmth Jamaicans generally exude, I was witness to yet another "Pirates" sequel. To quote Long John Silver, it brought a tear to me one good eye. The rain had stopped for the drive back the hotel where fevered visions of Àstrid Bergès-Frisbey (Syrena in the movie), sunken galleons, ska-blasting rum bars, and the Nissan's gutter-running five-spoke 17-inch alloy wheels, cut sleep short. Dawn found me out on a balcony watching a pack of feral dogs course though a neighboring field, while just beyond, Port Royal was emerging from the mist. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc; font-size: small;"><a href="http://hooverthehorizon.blogspot.com/2011/10/shiver-me-skid-plates-on-jamaicas.html#more" target="_blank">read more </a></span></div>
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Alan Wellikoffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15013001805725976441noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-729004592069562676.post-91086513785110076972011-08-15T10:19:00.000-07:002015-08-26T10:42:32.995-07:00The Lincoln Inaugural<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: #e69138;"><b><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I </span>remember Lincolns </b></span><span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="color: #cccccc;">going back to Ike. Rakish '57s with their towering cathedrals of taillight housing; ‘58s that resembled Mercury Turnpike Cruisers as designed by original gorillas; the near-perfect ‘62s – one of which bore its own tragic presidential association; ‘70s Town Cars that handled with the finesse of war wagons fording the Pawmunkey; and the 1956 Continental Mark II that remains among the most beautiful cars ever built, and the font of iconic Lincoln styling cues</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">These and other Lincolns have coursed the mystic chords of memory to end in the car that inaugurates this blog -- the 2011 Lincoln MKS. </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #eeeeee; font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Full-sized, and black-on-black enough for bag jobs, the test Lincoln was a front-driver that sat high on its Volvo-derived D3 platform*<a href="http://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=729004592069562676&postID=9108651378511007697#_ednref1" name="_edn1" style="mso-endnote-id: edn1;" title=""></a>where it improved on its predecessor with a re-tuned suspension and a </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">turbo-charged 3.5-liter V6. The effect, once combined with the MKS’s unfortunate use of glittering, multi-colored metallic-flake paint and delicately-wrought 20-inch polished aluminum wheels, lent it the look of a heavyweight contender teetering about in high-heels while on tour with the Chainsaw Kittens<span style="color: #eeeeee;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">.</span></span></span></span> </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Although dubious, such design practices keep the big Lincoln from coming across as a hulking ironclad. More successful in this regard are the rising character lines that extend rearward from the MKS’s winged grille in a graceful display of muscularity that better reflects its personality -- especially once on the road. </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Inside the test car, a Black Ultimate cockpit with double-stitched Bridge of Weir seats cosseted all in funereal splendor. While the MKS’s high beltline and gun-slit windows gave it an unwelcome sense of confinement, its head and legroom were nonetheless ample. The handsome instrument panel -- traversed by a strip of aluminum recalling machine-turned dashboards of yore -- held an array of buttons and touch screens poised to command to such high-tech esoterica as BLIS and SYNC – the blind-spot scanning and in-car connectivity features that Lincoln alludes to in its smart-luxury ads. </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Behind the wheel, drivers feel the Lincoln's taut, solidly-machined character. Underway, passengers enjoy the refined formality imparted by the $48,000 sedan's nosebleed command position. They proceed imperially, their passage through the coarsening world muted by the Lincoln's NVH (noise, vibration and harshness) controlled interior. </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Then they hit the road and the thing goes like Jehu.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">We took the road to Gettysburg, bending the blacktop of the old Lincoln Highway that had also bore Confederate forces under the command of Jeb Stuart into battle. Already impressed by the adroit handling the MKS exhibited with aid of its finely-tuned mounts and bushings, bolstered seats and newly-engineered front suspension -- once an un-patrolled section of woodland straightaway appeared, we didn’t hesitate to grant the car named for the Great Emancipator its freedom. At first, the Lincoln’s EcoBoost system (a direct-injection unit that helps the MKS achieve 25 mpg under circumstances other than florsheims-to-the-floorboard acceleration) produced the briefest turbo lag, but this was promptly followed by a spirited surge from the V6 that felt more like a V8 as it lit out from zero to 60 in 5.3 seconds before going on to do four-score-and-seven like Grant took Richmond.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #cccccc;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">Gettysburg was rife with tourists, but no amount of cheap spectacle can overcome the sense of glory that a visit there imparts. At least those were our thoughts as they flowed along with the Yuengling at the brewpub-cum-motel-cum-Lee’s-headquarters wherein Elvis solemnly intoned the Battle Hymn on the jukebox. As the Raised-Collar One built to his stirring crescendo, we wondered why Lincoln, the president, was never embraced by Lincoln the car – which, as far back as 1940 – brought out the Continental in an effort to be more European. Perhaps this has had something to do with the Rail-splitter’s folksy, unrefined and American-to-the-hobnails image. Maybe it was because when he needed army wagons, Lincoln bought Studebakers. Dunno. Whatever the reason, Lincoln the car might want to reconsider, as one thing can be said about the man who charged his generals to “go forward, and give us victories” -- under the right conditions, he drove fast. And no one can deny he delivered.</span></span></span><span style="font-size: x-large;"> </span></span><br />
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Alan Wellikoffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15013001805725976441noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-729004592069562676.post-76661023722860247412011-07-20T09:31:00.000-07:002017-02-28T13:33:24.250-08:00Toward the Untoward<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span style="color: #e69138;"><b><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">U</span>ntoward automotive stylings</b></span> must await the arrival of test cars.</span>Alan Wellikoffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15013001805725976441noreply@blogger.com